The complexities of caring for orphans are too many to
number.
The phrase “orphan crisis”
really couldn’t be any more accurate. It’s not an exaggeration.
Simply being an orphan is a crisis yet alone
the circumstances under which these children are left behind by death, bought,
sold, enslaved, abandoned or agonizingly handed over out of desperation by
people who love them. If that isn’t difficult enough, now consider the
conditions they daily survive, the lack of opportunities in their future and
the shear number of children who in someway or another have found themselves in
this category. It can take your breath away.
I know it has mine.
When you hear the phrase “care for orphans” we all know its
not simple but on the surface its tempting to think that a few caring adults
could pull some resources together and execute & maintain a level of care
that would be “acceptable”, right? Many people provide children with food, clothing,
shelter, education, discipline, care & nurturing. How difficult could it really
be?
Very.
Let me explain…these are various factors I’ve heard
discussed as plans are brainstormed to care for children in an orphanage. (By
the way, I’m not criticizing anyone who is faced with these questions and
considerations as they manage an orphanage and weigh limited options. Thinking
through these factors helped me see the complexity of it all.)
Housing
Current building is rented, have to move out by the end of
the year, no money to buy new land, current property also houses a school that
community children come to as well. The children pay to come to school, which
is a small income for the orphanage. However, the children have stopped paying
to come as their families can no longer afford it. They also must eat while
they are at school depleting the orphanage’s small food budget. But, how do you
tell the neighborhood children to stop coming?
Where will we go when the lease is up and we are forced to move out? We
need a loan, we can’t get a loan. Also, it’s complicated and expensive and
risky.
School
Where do the children start school in the Fall? When to
register? At the current location with onsite teachers, or near the unknown
temporary place they’ll move before they get to buy the new land or near the
new land so they don’t have to switch part way through the year? Is it cheaper
to pay for teacher’s salaries to teach the 29 children or send them to school
off site? If they go off site then they’ll need more specialized uniforms,
books, shoes, exam fees, food but that will save the amount needed to pay
multiple teachers. Which is more beneficial? When do you decide? The uniform
depends on which school, but we don’t know which school, but you can’t start
school without the uniform.
Food
How much rice do you use each month? Currently rely on
donations & a small outside financial donation. Usually only get rice &
beans donated. Some extra food comes in sporadically. When we have more variety
we use less rice & beans. When we have only rice & beans; we use more
rice and beans. Its different every month. There are eggs from the chickens and
we sell the extra eggs, but the chicken food is expensive. Is it worth it
financially and time wise?
Water
3,000 gallons of water is needed each week for washing,
bathing & cooking and often runs out early. A truck delivers this water and
fills the cistern. But, you can’t drink this water and when the kids do, they
get sick. So, 100 jugs of drinking water are purchased each month. The children
don’t understand to just drink it and not play with it and push the button for
fun. They are kids, remember!? What
about the tablets that used to help purify the cistern water? They are gone.
Oh, but there was a chlorine system installed in the tank on the roof. Yes, but
that is broken. Can you get it fixed? The company that installed it is out of
business. But if that were fixed, you’d save money on having to buy drinking
water. Right, but how do we fix it if the company closed? How about an osmosis
system to use the water from the cistern as drinking water and can also sell
water to the neighborhood? Well, that
system costs $3,000-$5000 and takes out ALL the minerals. So, a reverse osmosis
system is better, but not sure how much that costs.
Transportation
Difficult to estimate. How many times to the doctor? How far
away is it? How far away is the donation
of food being dropped off? How many times to the market?
Charcoal
Is expensive and not the preferred method for cooking. But,
propane is expensive too and the tanks are empty because there’s no money to
fill them. Actually, there is a piece broken and if they fill them, they will
leak and that will be dangerous. So don’t fill them. But, we could fix them and
save money on charcoal but then again, maybe its too dangerous to have this
much propane so close to the house.
Insurance
$10 USD per child per month and still required to pay 75% of
medication costs. Except, if its basic medication and insurance will cover
major things and hospitalization. But, $10 is difficult to sacrifice for each
child monthly, but that’s the point of insurance. But, they could really use
that extra money each month.
Funding
Current funding comes from multiple sources at different
times throughout the month. Some operate on credit & reimbursement, other
is direct payment. However, when material donations increase, monetary amount
decreases. Average amount per month varies. Bad news is that a major funding
source is ending sooner than later. Most of the teacher & nanny salaries
come from this funding. How will they be paid now?
Security
Have to have security on site. Only money for one guard who
also helps with other things and has to sleep SOME time.
Electricity
Currently getting from the landlord since the house is
rented, but will be an expense in the future, but don’t know how much to budget
for. City power is unpredictable, generators are expensive and require ongoing
maintenance & fuel, and inverters are also pricey.
Clothing
Specific clothes are needed for school, but where will they
be going to school? There’s no money to budget for other clothes, so relying on
donations is the only option. What if
they don’t get the correct sizes of clothes & shoes?
Donations
Are sporadic and vary in type & quantity each month.
Sometimes receive a lot of diapers & formula. They only have 2 little ones
who need this. Do you say this or just let them keep coming in in case you run
low later? Or do you ask if they have other donations they could give instead?
Does this look bad? Will they stop giving diapers & formula? Donations are rarely for supplemental food
like spices, vegetables, fruits & meat.
Sponsor Program
How do we do this? How do we maintain it? How much would
sponsors pay? Who will write profiles and update sponsors? Sponsors will want
to see budget information for credibility, but that is difficult to provide.
Well, how much does it take to care for a child each month? It’s hard to say
because donations vary each month and it’s difficult to say an exact budgeted
dollar amount.
Other Factors
In one group of people discussing these matters, we had
different first languages, forms of currency, weights & measures, ideas of
budgeting, expectations for childcare, backgrounds, education level, cultures and
goals.
I know I’m over simplifying on SO many levels, but sometimes
I think as an outsider looking in, its easy to think that the people “here” or
“there” should be doing a “better” job taking care of children. It’s so easy to have all the answers to fix
the seemingly obvious issues and wonder how children are living in such
difficult circumstances.
Its easy to quickly say...
- Why isn’t the money just managed better?
- Well if there were just a few more nannies.
- Their diets really should have more fresh fruits &
veggies.
- Surely they have other clothes, that child had that outfit
on the last 10 times I’ve seen them.
- Isn’t there an easier way to do this or that?
Well, I’m learning it’s not that easy. Something will have
to be sacrificed to add anything to the picture, but what if there is really
nowhere to pull or adjust resources? What do I expect? Create something out of
thin air?
Sometimes I think I do impose
this expectation.
Mind you, I’m operating under a lot of assumptions including
the big one that the people caring for these children are in in for the right
reasons, do care about them and are not misusing resources and funds. I’m not
even going to touch the issues around cases where sadly this is often not the
case.
The details involved in caring for tiny, broken lives will
give you an ulcer. I’m not kidding. Two actually—one in your heart and one in
your gut. This stuff is crazy hard and I’m still very much an outsider looking
in and sometimes I find myself going around in circles feeling overwhelmed
& paralyzed as to how best to care for children who have been through loss,
trauma, abandonment and now are living in less than an ideal situation to help
them through these struggles. Do these questions and factors exhaust you like
they do me?
Imagine what it feels like for the person responsible for
keeping all of these children fed & safe every day in a country where daily
life is a major struggle on so many levels from poverty, safety, government
unrest, incredible heat, inconsistent electricity, unsafe water, crime, few
jobs, inadequate medical care, family crisis…the list goes on and on and ON.
Basic daily survival is about as far as you get most days let alone improving,
nurturing, changing, reevaluating, etc…these are lofty goals in a place where
its difficult to simply survive.
In the midst of all of these factors & details, there
are children. Precious lives who the Creator formed in the secret places of
their mothers’ wombs. We are talking SOULS whose lives have mattered and WILL
matter for ALL of eternity.
I feel like a deer in headlights and I don’t have a house
full of children looking at me when they are hungry, sad, frustrated, lonely,
missing mommy, hurt, angry, misbehaving and in need. I cannot imagine the
weight of the responsibility if I did.
I’m the first to say I have A LOT to learn, but one thing I’m
confident of is that all of this is tremendously complicated.
Its easy for “us” to impose our standards of care, nutrition,
cleanliness, child rearing, nurturing & education because we are using
“OUR” cultural & financial framework as a reference.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t hope for and desire the best in
all these areas of need for each and every child, but when our energy goes to criticism and critiques, I think its easy to lose sight of the
fact that we are dealing with deep rooted, complicated matters far more involved than we as humans can
contain, manage, critique, change and improve to meet a certain standard. We are operating in a broken world where there
are not easy answers.
I hope & pray that I can shift my focus from looking at
all that seems “wrong” and look at true needs versus a matter of cultural & individual preference within my personal framework and focus my time and attention on supporting
the people who are working hard every day to make sense of the chaos. Maybe they need help making a plan,
prioritizing needs, researching options or a shoulder to cry on.
To be honest, I think it would be easy to give up. I need to
remind myself that as I swoop in and out here and there to visit, play or help
a day here and there, these people are there for the long haul day in and day
out and I have no idea what it would be like to be in their shoes. It is so much more than an easy fix here or
there that is truly going to benefit the children who desperately need so much.
This may sound like I’m giving up because it’s too difficult
and complicated. Definitely not! If anything I’m even more motivated to find
ways that make sense culturally, financially, physically and will have the most
significant level of impact for the long term benefit of the children. I’m not going to waste energy on being distracted
by personal preference of things that may not matter long term.
I’m in no way giving myself a free pass from speaking up about
issues, concerns, problems, care, safety, health and overall well-being of
children. I’m simply asking myself to reevaluate what DOES really matter and ask
how easy of a fix is this or that idea? Is it something that will change only
the surface and leave a broken system underneath? Chances are it’s NOT as easy
as it looks and may not be where time, energy & resources are best invested
on a particular day. And truly, it’s day-by-day.
There is so much I don’t know, but I do know I want the
BEST for these children and I believe that this happens most effectively within
the context of a loving family. The reality of that is sadly not an option for
thousands of children, further reinforcing our desperate need to look to the ultimate
care, guidance, wisdom and provision from our Heavenly Father to show us what
really matters to Him. My limited human view points me to quick criticism &
quick fixes.
We do not have time to waste on personal preferences,
critiques, surface-level remedies that give the appearance of meeting a certain
standard and then assuming the child is better off. There are too many children (souls) longing to feel deeply cared for,
cherished, valued and important for us to be distracted by the temptation to provide a quick fix and walk away. One that gives us the gratification of seeing an immediate change
that meets a standard that feels more acceptable to us, possibly causing us to
miss an opportunity to really help & invest in a meaningful way.
I'm not saying ignore the basic needs or diminishing their importance. Or that I have any answers. But, I think it is important that we decide how & where to focus our energy in such a way that basic needs can be met in a sustainable way without our personal preferences being the driving force for how things "should" be done. Also, understanding that even the most simple things can be really challenging.
All this to say…
- Orphan care is complicated.
- Orphan care is easy to over simplify.
- Orphan care is a long-term commitment.
- Orphan care is not about me and my brilliant ideas.
- Orphan care is deep, multi-leveled issues that require time
& education to be able to help effectively across cultural, language and
endless other potential barriers.
- Orphan care is fighting for sustainable resources to meet
daily needs, but doesn’t end there.
- Orphan care is beyond what human hands can coordinate.
- Orphan care is actually caring for little lives who have the
potential to be restored, Christ-following, loving people whose lives can be a
picture of redemption to a broken world around them.
- Orphan care forces me to look outside myself to the Perfect
Father who loves me so well and adopted me as His own. He cares for my
individual needs, heals my brokenness and daily meets my physical needs. I look
to His example and plead for wisdom to know how He would best use me to be a
part of His plan to care for children who so need to know the love of a Father.
