Now a Daughter

A couple weeks ago, we had the privilege of hosting a wonderful couple who was here to finalize their daughter’s adoption.  It was amazing to see how God had our paths cross for both of their adoption processes.  I worked with them as their family coordinator when they adopted their first child from China several years ago. How crazy that we ended up meeting at the guesthouse in Haiti while they completed their 2^nd child’s adoption. Amazing how it worked out!  I didn’t meet them in the U.S. when we were a couple states away, but we found ourselves living under the same roof for a week in Haiti!

It is a unique experience to go from the paperwork side of the process to being here in-person to witness the actual adoption taking place. 

When a family begins the adoption process, their hearts begin to bond with a child that they’ve never met, then they say “yes” to a child whose picture they spend hours gazing at and then finally the day comes when the child is in their arms forever.

On Sunday, we witnessed an end and a beginning. The end of a long paperwork process, months of waiting, longing & anticipation, the end of life as an orphan, the beginning of life as a daughter, a member of a family, a sister and life filled with new experiences and opportunities.

It was a powerful moment to see this little girl at the orphanage with all of the other children. She was at the table eating breakfast, but her day quickly changed when we showed up. She got a bath, powdered & dressed up and put in the arms of her mama. And that was that. Her life changed forever in that moment.

It has made me think a lot about our adoptions as sons and daughters of God. We did nothing to earn His love, we can’t buy it or pay it back. Fully knowing that, He willingly sent His Son who walked a long, hard, painful journey to bring us into His family.  Once in His family, its just the beginning of new life, opportunities and  perspective. Its not to say that life will be without challenges. But it does say that no matter what, we are His.  In a moment our lives change and we are never the same.  We are reminded that this is not our home and we wait in eager anticipation of our heavenly home where all will be made right.  A child becoming a part of a family is such a tangible example of the gospel. How incredible to be able to watch these first few days of a new family.

My heart breaks for the many other children who stood at the gate watching us leave the orphanage. It must be so painful to see one child leave and wonder why it wasn’t you. I pray that each one of them would be able to leave the gates of the orphanage with a loving family.

This week was filled with many adventures as well!  We visited a ministry called The Apparent Project. It was encouraging to see lives being changed by the opportunity to work, use their talents & skills and hear the gospel. You can read more about it here: http://www.apparentproject.org/

We also experienced going to a clinic in Haiti.  A partially covered outdoor area filled with benches was lined with moms and their adorable tiny babies.  I guess Wednesday was pediatric day, so it was cute-baby central!  The fee for the clinic was about $1.50 and the medications needed were not much more than that.  Its wonderful to see the children receiving the medical care they need, but its not an easy process for them to first get to the clinic, pay for services and the wait could be hours to be seen by the doctor.

We also spent the day at the beach. It was beautiful! The mountains wrapped around the beach, the water was blue, it wasn’t too hot and it was such a nice day away.

beach babe

a jelly fish!

We had heard about a pizza place and thought it would be a nice change to have something different. It was delicious! We were thankful for something familiar and a change from our new Haitian diet. J

Another new experience included going to an outdoor market. I have a new respect for the hard work that it is to simply eat.  The meat, vegetables, fruit, rice, oil & beans are all brought to the market. People are selling things everywhere including the streets, sidewalks and inside a building. 

There were so many people, animals, vehicles and it had rained so it was a slippery, muddy mess to get through. We are so used to our fluorescent lights, ultra sterile supermarket experience that this was quite an eye-opener. The woman who cooks at the guesthouse was our guide through the chaos. At one point, she took my wrist and hauled me to the back of the building. This must be where she does most of the shopping. It was dark, hot and thankfully less crowded, but where we stopped was the “meat department.” Tim and I decided it was best just to look at each other to avoid seeing anything that would cause us to lose our cool.  We were much more at ease by the time we made it to the vegetable and grain section.  

We waited while she did her shopping, thoroughly examining all of the fruits & vegetables. In other sections, people were cooking food in massive pots, a few people napping, chickens clucking and a man making a whistling/buzzing sound with his mouth, cheek and hand.  I guess he was the “grocery store music”.  It was all I could do to just take it all in.  I couldn’t believe all of the stuff that our cook normally brings home on a motorcycle. The bags were so heavy & awkward and it was SO hot.  I will not take for granted the day she says she’s heading to the market.  It’s so much more than that. It’s a long, difficult, hot process to simply grocery shop.

So much of every day life, tasks, errands and processes take on such a different level of involvement, work and challenges here. I’m never quite sure what to do with what I see and how it should change me in order to have it alter my perspective in a way that would benefit others. Surely a shiny supermarket is not the answer to the challenges. Maybe my perceived difficulty of grocery shopping is not even seen as a problem? So many questions fill my mind as I take in life around me. 

It was a great week filled with many adventures and I’m so thankful that there is one less orphan in the world! Your family loves you, sweet girl. 

Car Shopping

Last Friday, we planned to ride along with one of the orphanage directors to look at new vehicles for the guesthouse. We are excited to move forward with this endeavor, as the house will greatly benefit from new wheels! 

Our current transportation situation.

When he came to pick us up, he mentioned that we would need to stop and drop off adoption paperwork downtown before we went car shopping.  Sure, sounds easy enough, plus I’ve been wanting to see what this part of the process entails.  Let’s do it.

The words we say to families “your dossier was submitted today,” took on a whole new meaning. I’m glad we had this detour. It wasn’t an easy one, but it is another tangible example of seeing the “Miracle of Adoption” played out. It is not an easy process and truly only God can overcome the hurdles; hence the miracle. What a joy to see Him at work.

Let’s get onto how the day unfolded, shall we?!

We got in the truck with our translator and the orphanage director. We took off and drove for probably an hour. Traffic on the main road is pretty bad a lot of times (think D.C. traffic with no rules) so we ended up on back roads to get around the jam. Hot, dusty and bumpy are the trade offs for sitting in traffic, but at least we were moving.

We seemed to just keep driving forever, stopping at random places. The problem is I never know what is happening. Hearing and understanding Creole are 2 different things. I heard a lot of words but none of them registered to help me make sense of my current situation.

I'm learning Creole little by little and can put together a choppy sentence to relay a simple concept. Granted I’m squeezing my eyes shut working my hardest to dig up the random flashcard or workbook lesson where I learned “that word.” But there are a few things I can say and will keep working at it!

However, when I'm trying to understand others, I feel like I’m in one of those air machines that blows paper all around while someone stands there grasping left and right. The words are flying all around, but grabbing a couple words here and there gets me almost no where in answering the questions floating around in my head. In the end I feel like my brain is reduced to the size of a raisin only able to perform the basic functions of breathing and digesting. 

I trust that the driver knows where we are going, so I just sit quietly with the furrow in my brow ever deepening from squinting in the sun and harboring so many unanswered questions all day.

One stop was randomly to buy rice, plantains and other staples for the orphanage. A stop well worth it after I realized why we were sitting in a hot car for 30 minutes.  Soon we were stopping again and again, each time with someone jumping in the back of the truck. Was this planned, who is that, should they be in the truck, where are they going, while I’m at it, where are WE going?  Oh my poor wrinkled forehead. More questions piling up.

Also traveling with us was a giant silver box. I didn’t think too much about it, but soon one of the new men in the truck opened it up and our truck turned into an office on wheels. The silver box held our precious cargo; the adoption paperwork!

Finally, we were where we needed to be. We carried stacks of paperwork into the back of the building. Again, I just follow along and go where I'm told. We waited outside for a while and when we were finally next, they said that they wouldn’t accept the paperwork.  Excuse me. Please say it’s not true. Do you know what we went through to get here?

I was not on their list of approved representatives. We presented the power of attorney form, but that wasn't cutting it. After a while we went downstairs to a different office to ask for special approval to allow me to submit the documents. After much explanation, we learned that the issue was that the POA was in English and not French. Ok, that makes sense. Oops. Lesson learned.

Thankfully with a copy of my passport and a special blue stamp we were headed back upstairs with the precious paperwork in tow. These dossiers represent months of hard work competed by a family to formally apply for adoption and ultimately they represent children who will be adopted. The paperwork must keep moving!

We waited in line again, only to find out that the woman was not nearly as excited about our blue stamp as we were. Through conversation I didn't understand, something worked and soon the paperwork was on her desk!

It was many dossiers with 2 sets of copies of each one. She said that we must remove the rubber bands from the files because that was not her job. Ok no problem. Then she wanted my name, agency and phone number on all 15 files. Done. Soon we had momentum only to hit another wall.

We found ourselves waiting again.

What was the problem? Where was our other Creole-speaking representative now? We couldn't find him in order to figure out the problem. Once we understood the situation it was that the folders were too thin and not sturdy enough. There was some wear on them and we feared they would get rejected. What a roller coaster!

Again somehow we started moving again. God was answering our prayers! She flipped through every dossier, originals and copies. All 15 folders slowly moved along. Yes, we will be finished soon was all I could think. Well, I was wrong. This was just step one. The reviewed paperwork then went to another office where the necessary fees were paid and receipts given. Only it was getting close to the end of the day and people were starting to leave. All I could think was “no, please stay, please take our documents”!

While we’re waiting, let me set the stage a little more…Somehow when leaving the house at 10 am to look and cars, I saw no need to bring a book along today. Man did I regret that decision. I had a few Creole flash cards to entertain me all day but those quickly lost their appeal. We sat in an office with the light off and no fan. Thankfully they did plug the fan in but I can't remember which hour this happened in. We also did not realize that we would be gone so long so soon we were wishing we had eaten something before we left. Thankfully a granola bar held is for a while but that was hours before we realized this wasn't ending anytime soon.

One by one the files moved along and when the last one was reviewed, we wondered what they would have us do next. But just like that, the desk was cleared, step 2 happened in a flash and the ladies were touching up their make-up to leave for the day. Was this it, were we finished!?

As we sat in the office, we began to feel like these ladies were our friends. Not until the last 10 minutes, did one reveal she spoke some English and commented on us talking about ice cream and pizza. I wish she had revealed her English-speaking secret a little sooner. That would have simplified things significantly!  Oh well, more Creole practice for me.

We wandered back to the car thankful that the paperwork was where it needed to be and one step closer in the long process. We returned to the vehicle to find that the orphanage director had stayed in there the entire time. When I opened the door, a big grin came across his face and in his thick accent he said “welcome to Haiti”.

I asked him if he stayed the car the entire time and he said “yes, this was only supposed to take 5-10 minutes, not hours”. Talk about the patience of a saint.

Now that the day was over and it was rush hour, something told me that back roads were in our near future.  I was right. Tired, hungry and a headache seemed to accentuate the bumpy roadway.  

Soon we were stopped again. Where were we?? A woman brought out a huge bag of food scraps and put them in the truck.  Confusion painted across my face yet again. The orphanage director explained that it was food for his dogs.  Oh right, how did I not guess that.

Seven and a half hours after we set out to look at cars, we were home.

Car shopping was not in our day.

I also learned that it’s been a 2-week process to try and get the paperwork processed through this one step. I thought I had run a marathon, but I was the one who got to do the last few steps and cross the finish line.

I had a lot of time to consider my patience level and was keenly aware of my desire to control a situation. I want things to be easy, fast and make sense in my mind. Today was none of those things and in the end it’s ok. It wasn't exactly fun but slowly and painfully God is helping me look at life differently. I don't have to be in a hurry all the time; I don't need to know everything that is going on at every second.

I need to learn to sit back, learn from others, be still and not rush things along all the time. Life is not about my comfort, desires, ease and control. As I saw that today I'm hopeful that I can continue to surrender control and let God direct my steps and show me how to be content no matter what the situation.

A fitting phrase to end the day; Thank you Lord!

Maybe we can go car shopping next week. 

What do You Hate More?

A post from Tim...

Living in Haiti can present quite a few life changes, such as no-rules driving, breathing in massive amounts of exhaust, mispronouncing Creole words, and living with armies of bugs and little creatures. Because of the heat, we often have our windows and doors open at the guesthouse, which is a welcome sign for little critters.  Dealing with flies, ants, spiders, lizards, and other little guys can sometimes become frustrating, in wake of that I am an American that is used to enclosed housing spaces.  Living in Haiti can challenge an American’s addiction to comfort like not many other things. 

I praise God for not allowing me to bask in my comfort, but to instead rely upon Him as my joy, my safety, my satisfaction, whether I am in a comfy U.S. apartment/house, or living in a third-world nation (that said, our guesthouse here is absolutely amazing!!).  When we are stripped of even “some” of our basic comforts, this can turn into a gripe-session, instead of looking to God as sovereign and supreme.  I think it comes down to, do we really believe that God is who he says that he is in Christ Jesus?  Do we believe in who God says he is? 

Some years ago I was living in Atlanta, GA and volunteering with an urban ministry.  As I walked the city streets with my friend who lived in a dangerous neighborhood, he shared with me how he had killed a massive rat in his apartment.  My first response was, “what?!??!”, yet my friend appeared sad I asked him why? He began to explain that he realized that he hated the rat in his apartment more than he hated sin in his life.  This, as you can imagine, had a profound affect on my thinking.

Fast forward several years and I am living in Port-au-Prince in Haiti, along with many little perceived discomforts.  The particular lesson of hating the inconvenience instead of personal sin is especially applicable while living in a developing nation.  God has pinpointed that my heart has many idols, but I am most aware of them when my conveniences or comforts are taken away.  Therefore, I relish the bittersweet opportunity to face my idolatry and am learning to try to lean on Christ and trust him, even when a bizarre-looking lizard hops into the shower with me, or when a softball-sized furry spider scurries across the floor. 

These small and sometimes freaky annoyances have a way of teaching us that God is in control of our lives and is worthy of being trusted, whether we feel cozy and comfortable, or displaced and scared. 

Just be Faithful

"Our Lord calls to no special work: He calls to Himself." 

-Oswald Chambers

As we’ve journeyed the road of fundraising, packing, organizing, coordinating logistics & moving we’ve been encouraged by the challenge to offer our work, resources, time & finances back to God as offerings to Him and His glory. The temptation is real to gear up for a big moment that will somehow give us a sense accomplishment or some measure of “success.” Questions such as, what if our results are not enough or visible in the immediate future? How will we know if this was the step we were supposed to take? 

We’ve been reminded that neither the immediate results nor  the long-term impact are up to us. We can rest in God’s plan and work as we step out and “just be faithful.” We recognize there will be challenges, questions and unexpected turns, but we are committed to being obedient to the work He calls us to each day. We have no doubt that the work He will do will be anything less than amazing. 

Results and success are about us; we want to be about Him. His faithfulness to us has been evident. The mountains He’s already moved propel us on this journey. His goodness to us has been tangible.  May we strive to look past our measure of success or failure. But instead, focus on being faithful to the One who promises to fulfill His purposes; living with a heart of gratitude that He allows us to be a part of His plan.  

We know that as we step out into something so much bigger than ourselves that our strength and abilities will fall short. Only by His provision, grace and wisdom can accomplish the tasks He puts before us. 

Through the process, we pray that He will receive all of the glory!

A Month of Madness

a post from Tim...

We have been here a little over a month so far, though the past four weeks have felt much more like a year.  Somehow, time appears to move so incredibly slowly in Haiti.  Much to my surprise, there also appears to be a very cavalier and carefree attitude by most Haitians I have met.  But don’t get me wrong, I actually like this way of life.  Coming from Washington, DC, I am quite used to “Type-A” individuals… you know, the “go-getters” of the world.  However, in Haiti, people are not much impressed by your title or job, but rather, folks seem to be given to taking care of their families and working hard—purely for the sake of survival, provision, and the satisfaction of completing a project.  There is something to be said for truly putting in a hard days labor… something I think fewer and fewer Americans know anything about. 

I am so amazed at how very content many of the Haitians I have met seem; Most Haitians I have seen have very little, though they appear quite relaxed and serene.  In Haiti, people seem to be much more up-close and personal, and in fact make a point to visit others in person, conduct business in person, and be paid in cash for completing a job. 

We have been truly shocked at the interesting treatment that foreigners get here, particularly us Americans.  In fact, we have been pushed ahead of others at places like the bank and a local medical clinic.  The basic explanation that I have come to is that folks are generally grateful for the fact that Americans have come to Haiti to “help” in some way and show respect to those of us who are doing work here. 

I am learning to slowly and strongly appreciate Haitian culture for what it is, realizing that it does not need to be “Americanized”.  In fact, Haitians do not really need Americans to tell them how to live their lives… they, much like any of us, need to be helped in being able to help themselves.  Haitians are hard-workers, with goals and desires like any human.  They are talented, funny, smart, and filled with hope.  All they need is a chance.  It is incredible how many mission teams come to Haiti each week, many most likely with a sense of spiritual tourism imbedded into their minds and hearts.  This is in fact not much different than many American slums and impoverished communities:  Church groups come in for a week, do a few service projects, take pictures, and then head home – Meanwhile, those suffering remain in their circumstances, while the mission teams get to go back to their comfortable lives. 

I say all of this with the complete realization that I am included in the comfort-loving crew that often looks for a feel-good missions experience, not really looking to be plugged in for the long haul.  But really, how do short-term mission teams provide meaningful assistance to long-term missionaries or those committed to living in an impoverished community?  I am not sure there is a right answer, but I do think as long as individuals and teams come with a true desire to serve those who are already planted there, they will in turn be used as a tool to help put important puzzle pieces together in Kingdom building. 

Another thing I have been realizing is how much control I want over my world, which is why living in Haiti can be frustrating at times.  Here, I have very little control… in fact, I usually have to ask permission to even go two doors down to see our neighbors.  Back home, in DC, Aimee and I were essentially thriving at our respective jobs, and life was relatively predictable and “normal”.  Haiti, at times, feels like superman’s “Bizarro-World” – where everything is the exact opposite.  However, God has used this major life change to show me that He is in the one that is sovereign over all of life – whether things feel normal or not.  Therefore, Christ is my normal, though the world around me may change.  

What God did in 5 days through 5 people....

When Tim and I first arrived in Haiti, one couple was already at the guesthouse to complete their adoption process. They actually helped us learn a thing or two about the house!

This week we had the privilege of hosting 5 guests. They spent the week serving at an orphanage about 45 minutes from the guesthouse. They came equipped with bubbles, beach balls, bracelets, Bible stories and a lot of love and hugs.  

Their church had gathered many donations, so they were able to bring those to the orphanage each day.  There is a great need for toys, formula, clothes and medicine so it was wonderful to see these needs tangibly met.

For several of the team members, it was their first experience at an orphanage or in another country.  However, this did not stop them from jumping right in.  They tried new foods, were patient in long traffic jams and took things in stride. When things seemed overwhelming with 100 children ready to play, be held and cared for, they remained calm and focused on the task at hand; sharing as much love as possible within the time they had here. 

They were a great help to the caretakers at the orphanage. They do a wonderful job of caring for the children, but the extra hands hopefully helped relieve their load at least for a while. I was reminded of the importance of praying for them as I cannot imagine how tiring it must be for them to care for so many children.

It was interesting to see each person’s gifts and abilities as they served.  Some were content to rock a baby for hours, feed the little ones, while others were out with the older kids jumping rope. The one man on the trip became a human jungle gym at times.  The children are so in need of individual attention and one-on-one time.

Tim and I had the opportunity to join them for several days and were quickly another lap to sit on and hand to hold. 

The children are adorable! They have unique personalities, gifts and abilities that we saw glimpses of this week.  My prayer is that each one of them will be adopted and cared for by a family who can give them the love, care & attention they deserve.

Their attitudes, actions and interactions with the children and staff were clearly ones of humility, kindness and the love of Christ flowing through them.

They were able to share the gospel with the children and distribute Christian resources to the staff at the orphanage and guesthouse.  Please pray that these books would be an encouragement to those who read them and that they would be drawn closer to Christ as a result.

One of the most significant times for me this week was being there when the children had breakfast.  They all sat at their little picnic tables waiting for everyone to be served their cereal.  They all put their hands on their head and said the sweetest prayer. Their tiny little voices alone will make you smile.  It broke my heart to see them sharing with each other. Giving their friend a little more of their own milk and even offering a sloppy, slobbery spoonful to me.  Oh sweet girl; thank you! Thank you for sharing the one thing in your possession; your very own breakfast.  What a humbling lesson of generosity.  A little one who has nothing, yet was willing to share with me.  I hope I can display that kind of kindness to those around me.  

We are thankful for this week and the work God will continue to do as the team shares with their friends & family about what began in their hearts here in Haiti.