Waves of thoughts...

I thought I just wrote a post about us being here for 40 more days.

Now we are down to...

20.

What?

In some ways I feel like I'm running through mud in slow motion racing to the finish line. I want some things to go slowly...others can hurry themselves right along?! Without naming names...MOSQUITOS, HEAT & DUST. Did I mention the mosquitoes? 

I think I'm most excited for the transition part to be over; not necessarily our time here, but the messy part where boxes & suitcases and my emotions explode everywhere for a while before we find our new normal.

Again.

We got married, set up an apartment, packed up an apartment and moved here all within 4 months. I think as we unpack again it will feel like we are back to just having gotten married and setting up again but with this crazy, wild, adventurous 11-month detour. Even now as we look at photos from our wedding and honeymoon we look at "those people" and we know that OF COURSE it’s "us." 

But changed.

When we fly home in 3 weeks, we are not flying home the same people. I can't even process or get into all the ways I've changed over these last months.  I also realize that time at home didn't pause. People are a year older, people have gotten married, people have moved, babies born, jobs changed, challenges faced, life has moved on.  Someone said that it will be like first year of marriage, part 2. This was 1a…we are entering 1b. We know how to be newlyweds in Haiti; we don’t know what it will be like in the U.S. Everything we really know and have figured out about marriage is in the context of Haiti so I know we will have a lot to learn and adjust to individually as well as a couple as we settle in back home.

We are a different version of ourselves going to a different version of home.

Yes, our cars, belongings, winter wardrobe, friends, church, family, furniture, wedding presents, etc...all await with some level of familiarity, but I know it will not be the place we left. I get a little flutter of nerves every once in a while when I think about finding my place again. Who am I now?

I feel like I’m going through junior high in some ways, trying to figure out who I am again and how to relate, what to say, how to dress, self conscious about this person that even I feel unsure about…a little awkward at best some days.

We can't explain what this year has meant to us, even if we wanted to. It will take us months or even years to see all the ways we are not who we once were. Changes we won't even realize and at depths we won’t see for a long time. Some things might not even be visible to us, but others will notice.

My view, heart, mind and attitude towards so many things have changed and to be honest I don’t know how to translate all of that into life in the U.S.  Questions about poverty, suffering, what it means to truly help those in need, injustice, hunger, loneliness, …will continue to circle around my mind, I’m sure. Bigger than these questions, my prayer is that God will move in my heart in such a way that I don’t wait for perfect answers before I respond. The truth is, many answers may not be known on this side of heaven. I want to act in response to things God calls me to and focus my time, energy and resources moving towards the Answer, along side those who need so desperately need to see hope, joy, and strength that can come only from Him.

Basically I don’t want my fears and lack of answers to paralyze me from reaching out, taking notice, seeing beyond and pointing people to Him. I’ll make mistakes and create more questions but I know that drawing near to Him and caring for those He puts in my path will never be the wrong choices.

More than anything I want to come home with an attitude of patience, grace and humility. Not prideful and puffed up by having done this "great thing”. By God's grace, we took a step of faith and God moved mountains. He didn't move BECAUSE we did anything great or wonderful. He IS great and wonderful and has allowed us a front row seat to something so much bigger than ourselves. He carried and sustained us through the power of the Holy Spirit and tangibly through the kindness and generosity of friends, families & strangers. 

Can I say a quick p.s.? Ok thanks...there are people who financially supported us and I have NO idea who they are...how amazing is that!? Seriously. Strangers. God prompted people I've never even met to give to us...and they did! We are not the only ones who did something "crazy" or took a step of faith.  It just so happens we were on the receiving end of it all and in a more visible position than the rest of the people who played a part. God did all kinds of amazing things to make this year here in Haiti even possible. It was definitely NOT us. The last time I checked, most people are not just handing out money to random people to go live on an island for a year, in a guesthouse to serve and care for those God places on their path. Only God could have orchestrated these details; to HIM be the glory.

August 15^th won't be one of our whirlwind trips home to visit. We are going back. To settle in. To live. To connect and to continue to grow into the people God wants us to be. That hasn't changed. God is still at work, no matter where we live.

So while it’s easy to see this year coming to an end as some grand finish line, it’s actually just another step. Another step in the plans and purposes God is working out day after day. He has always been at work and will continue to be whether we are in Haiti or anywhere else.  This year has taught me more about who I am, who God is and what it means to serve Him as a part of the body of Christ. These are things that don’t come to an end. You don’t stop learning these lessons. This year the mountaintops were higher and valleys were lower than other seasons, but God hasn’t budged.  He is our Rock and is the same yesterday, today and forever. So in the midst of my figuring out; He is in control and just like every day on this the journey, I’ll continue to look to Him and trust Him to provide & direct.  I’ve learned to trust His timing, purpose and plans at a deeper level than I’ve ever needed to before and I can only imagine what He has in store as we continue serving Him!

Lately

So many of these things should have their own post...all the details, observations and emotions that went along with the experience or event. Unfortunately they don't. But, I don't want to just skip over them and not document them in some way! That is why you are about to see a summary of life's recent events in the form of 35 photos from Instagraimee :) Here we go!

We had a wonderful team of 3 ladies who came and worked with children at 2 of the orphanages we partner with. It was such a blessing to have a woman from my home church in Bismarck who lead the women's college Bible study I attended come and serve here. It was fun to catch up and see how God lead our paths back together in Haiti so many years after our first interactions. They jumped right in and cared for children through doing projects, playing and therapy exercises. 

I LOVE all of the bright colors here!

Tim had a birthday and we celebrated with an afternoon relaxing at a nearby hotel swimming pool. A much needed afternoon of R&R! (minus the blaring dance music on repeat, it was relaxing!?)

We went to a school graduation. I had no idea how big of a deal it was with the tent, stage, speaker system, new dresses & outfits, dances, singing, program, etc...it was quite the event! The kids were pretty darn adorable! We gathered through our amazing observation skills that this song was about shapes and colors. We don't exactly speak French, which the ENTIRE program was in, so we sat back, enjoyed the cuteness and took it all in. It was so hot that the balloons spontaneously popped at random, keeping us all alert. 

I'm always drawn to the line of laundry. So strange. I know. But there is just something about the simplicity of the fact that its part of life, something a mom would normally take care of at home and all the little lives each outfit represents...

We celebrated the 4th of July with some other U.S. citizens! It was a fun afternoon enjoying a familiar holiday even though we were away from home.

An afternoon of painting...
This was one of the sweetest times I've had with the kids all year. Normally I feel bad taking a few aside at a time to do an activity or project, but it really is the only way to be able to do something without it getting a little crazy. So the best I could, I gave 5 or 6 children at a time a place to paint. They were so stinking cute in all their artistic glory. Some had no idea what to do, while others just went right at it and I had to practically pry them away for the next child to come in.  It was (mostly) peaceful and a time for them just to be creative in a smaller group. They did such a great job and I loved seeing what they each came up with. 

Friends! Two friends from VA came for a visit. I know their lives are busy and a trip here is more than just a flight or drive to another state. It has meant SO much to Tim and I that several people have gone through the trouble of planning a trip, getting immunizations, flights and all the details arranged to come here and see a glimpse into our lives. Its difficult to put it all into words, so having them here to show them pieces of what we've experienced has been really encouraging and FUN!

Its been a little breezy lately. Some of my most epically awesome hair days have been here.

One of the best moments recently was when a group who brought 2 wheelchairs for 2 little boys. It was really sweet to see them light up when they were in a comfortable position and able to see more of their world. Another little guy enjoyed a play kitchen that was set up. I think he would have played all day!

A team also worked hard to gather donations and supplies to set up a full play room at another orphanage.  It was a blast! I know that some of the team members' children actually raised money to help purchase the puzzle piece flooring for the room. I love that whole families were involved to make this room a reality. It was encouraging to see how well supported the team was from friends and family at home who were excited to be a part of the project even if they couldn't be here in person. They purchased toys, formula, floor mats and wall stickers, making the room a fun, inviting place for the children to play. It was fun to watch them learning new things right before our eyes. It took some a little while to take it all in, but soon the blocks were everywhere, there was a line for the slide and everyone (including the adults) had fun putting the room to use!

I joked that this was one of those glamours moments when you realize you're so sweaty and sticky that the foam letters stick to your body. Glad it entertained someone!

Tim is always so good about taking time with the kids who seem a little quieter or more reserved. They have warmed up to him and with the slightest gesture they run right over for hugs.

 The beautiful sky, views, clouds and sunsets never get old!

There you have it! 

Psalm 4:8 Project Update

Hello! Here is a quick update on where things are at with the project to help with the bedroom renovations at the orphanage that suffered a fire in the boys' bedroom. See my previous post for more details if you would like more background.

Needs fulfilled:

• 10 twin sheet sets
• Cleaning & painting supplies
• A team of 9 people helping clean the room tomorrow! Hopefully we can start painting the girls' room tomorrow too.
• We have received the funds to be able to purchase 3 bunk beds & mattresses! (total of 6 beds)

Praying for...

• Funds to be able to buy more beds...15 more bunk beds & mattresses 
• 25 twin sheet sets
• People to continue helping with the project
• Wisdom for ongoing help & support for the orphanage.
• These 35 children to have a safe, clean place to sleep each night and for an opportunity to share the gospel with them!

I'll know more tomorrow after our first day of work there!

Thank you everyone for the ways you've jumped in and helped. Please pray that we would be able to fulfill the needs of this project and that we can see it to completion. 

Psalm 4:8 Project

Psalm 4:8 Project

In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety. –Psalms 4:8

the boys' room

Yesterday I learned that the boys’ bedroom at an orphanage we’ve recently been working with had had a fire the day before.  They were already short on beds, mattresses and sheets, but what they did have in the room for these boys was now gone.  The girls’ room has a few mattresses, but they could also greatly benefit from some new beds & sheets.

Some of the children are sleeping outside currently (which is not uncommon for this time of year because its so hot, but if they needed to come inside there are not places for them to sleep)

the girls' room

As I stood there and observed the damage, I thought, wow this is so sad, what a mess, what can we do, these children need places to rest at night, where do I begin?  It was overwhelming, but even more so due to the difficult situation this orphanage is already in. A husband and wife care for the children and do not have funds to pay nannies or staff to help. Food is limited and the children have few clothes, shoes and no medical care.

I stood back and thought about how WIDE the range of needs seem, how LONG this list is, how HIGH the challenges seem to pile up and how DEEP these problems felt.

These words reminded me of something…

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how WIDE and LONG and HIGH and DEEP is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. -Ephesians 3-14-19

play area

I want these children to know that there is a Father who loves them and cares about their needs…even something as simple as a place to lie down and sleep at night.  Each of them matters to Him and I hope that through this tangible expression of love; they will sense the greater love of Christ.  

The depths of my needs have never stopped God from lavishing his love on me and I cannot help but do something that will show these children HIS great love for them. Not my love…mine is broken, limited and so fragile. His is perfect, unending and strong. 

Oh how I need this kind of love.  So do they.

current sleeping area

The orphanage is called the Center of Hope & Light of the Needy and run by Jean Nicolas and his wife. They also run a school on the same property for 150 children.

Twenty five children currently live here, but they normally have 35. Due to the limited sleeping arrangements, 10 children have been staying with other people and coming to the orphanage for meals.

Funding is very limited and there are many needs, but beds & food are now their top 2 areas they need help. Thankfully we have been able to help them through the Haiti Food Pantry Fund which has been a huge blessing to them!

I am still working out details, but God has already provided some bedding to help the project get started and maybe even some manpower to begin the cleaning process.

My current best estimates are below:

current sleeping area

$50…cleaning supplies

$150…paint and supplies

$3,240…18 bunk beds @ $180 each (I’m working out details on this and hope I can find a better deal, but its looking like this will be the approximate cost)

$3,060.....36 mattresses ($85 each)

$500...sheets (we have some being donated already, but not sure how many…36 total needed...do not need to be new)

I know this is not a small project! But, I know that these children matter and He has put these things on my heart to share and trust Him with the rest. He’s already provided 5 people who want to help, some sheets & a few supplies…off to a good start!

When these 35 children put their heads down each night, I pray that these truths would surround them and be a sweet lullaby to their souls.  But more importantly that they would know love, safety, security & peace in Christ.

 

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty One who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing. -Zephaniah 3:17

When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. 

-Proverbs 3:24

If you would like to help, have ideas or items you’d like to donate…gently used twin sheets are great!  You can email me at aimee.wilson@awaa.org. Please send any questions my way as well!

To help us move forward with this project, please donate online or by check. To pay online, click here. In the notes section, include “Psalm 4:8 Project ”

If you would like to mail a check, please send a check made payable to “America World Adoption” to the address below. Include a note for "Psalm 4:8 Project"

America World Adoption

Attn: Michelle Reed

6723 Whittier Avenue, Suite 202

McLean, VA 22101

All donations are tax-deductible and a receipt for your donation will be provided to you.

Thank you for considering joining us! We look forward to updating you as the project progresses.    

Final 40 Days in Haiti

Dear Friends,

We are filled with emotions as we think about our final 40 days here in Haiti.  August 15, 2014 we will be moving to Arlington, VA and it’s going to be a bittersweet day for sure! As we finish our time here, we wanted to share more about our experience over these last 10 months and ask for prayer in some specific areas.

If you have been financially supporting us, thank you! We would not be here without your kindness and generosity in helping us in this way.  We thank God for you often and are humbled by the way He has provided for us through each of you.

We desire to be fully here focusing on the work He has for us in these coming days. As we wrap up our time here and look ahead to details and plans for moving home, it’s easy to be distracted. We want to finish the race strong and have the same enthusiasm and passion for our work as we did on day 1.

In the coming weeks we have a number of things going on…

• Friends coming to visit from VA.
• An adoptive family coming to bring home a little boy and girl. Praise God that 2 more children will know the love of a family!
• A mission team of 6 coming to serve at an orphanage for children who have special needs and to put together a playroom at another orphanage.
• Adoption paperwork & meetings.
• Wrapping up details and logistics at the guesthouse.

We will be busy and look forward to the ways we can care for others in practical ways while they stay here with us at the guesthouse.

Please pray that our hearts and minds would be fully engaged, yet able to plan for the logistics of moving home. We are excited about the work God is doing here and thankfully the work He accomplishes doesn’t depend on us, but He has allowed us to be a part of the story He is writing. We know that our time here will impact many areas of our lives in the years to come. We pray that God would use the work He has done in our lives to draw people closer to Himself and that He would receive all the glory.  We know that apart from Him, none of this would have been possible.

As we finish up, I was thinking about the ways that God has been faithful to us. It’s easy to focus on finances, fatigue, failures, frustrations, etc…but we serve a faithful God who has strengthen and sustained us in countless ways this year…

Physically

• Provided financial means- we set a goal and God provided above and beyond. As it turned out, the amount we actually raised was MUCH closer to our needs than what we planned.  He knew!
• Health-Tim & I have stayed healthy this entire year.
• We have an apartment to move home to in Arlington…God provided right when we needed it and has made the logistics work out perfectly.
• I am going back to my previous job at AWAA in the China program.

Service Opportunities

• We came here in order to serve children & adoptive families. We have been able to do that in many ways!
• God has moved in people’s hearts to help in very tangible ways from the Redeemer food packaging event, gathering art supplies, friends & family bringing donations & supplies to help with projects.
• Mission teams have stayed here with us and we’ve had the opportunity to care for them as they serve in Haiti.
• We have spent many hours with children at various orphanages and we pray that our time and interaction with them would have been filled with love from their Heavenly Father and that one day they will know Him.
• We have learned about and visited so many mission organizations and witnessed God’s hand working through others in powerful ways.
• Our view of serving children & orphans has broadened greatly and we pray that we can continue to learn ways to serve children around the world.

Emotionally

• We have connected with a church family here and have enjoyed weekly fellowship, worship & teaching.
• We’ve made friends here and been able to enjoy fun times and helpful conversations and support from people who understand the unique challenges of living in Haiti.
• Friends & family have come to visit us here. We have felt so loved and blessed by their encouragement. 
• Prayers by countless people.
• Care packages, texts & people checking in with us. 

Prayer for these 40 days

• Focus on tasks & opportunities that God brings our way.
• Continue to invest in relationships we’ve built.
• Not to wish time away, but to appreciate each day.
• For emotional strength as we say goodbye to friends, relationships and the life we have built here, but especially the children who we have gotten to know.
• Discipline in studying God’s word and seeking Him.

Prayer for the future

• Employment opportunities for Tim.
• Logistics of an international move.
• Wisdom on ways to incorporate all we’ve learned, seen, done & experienced back into our lives back home.
• Direction for ways to be involved in ministry to the Fatherless in our own neighborhood and around the world.
• God’s grace in our marriage as we have been in Haiti for a majority of the time we’ve been married and we know that another major transition will come with its own set of challenges.
• That our hearts would be broken for things that matter to God and that we'd see more and more through His eyes. Also that our hearts would be put back together stronger and with more focus and passion to do something to help in a way that honors Him.  

We have seen God’s provision in so many ways; there are too many to list them all. As you’ve been a significant part of this journey, we wanted you to see and be encouraged by the kindness, provision and faithfulness of our amazing God!  Each of you play an important role; we just happen to be the ones who had the “up front” view and its our great privilege to tell you as our team all that He has done! We hope that your faith will be strengthened and that you'd join us in praising God for all that He is doing and will continue to do. 

Through all of the ups and downs we've experienced, I couldn't summarize it any better than this:

“Resting in the Lord does not depend on external circumstances at all, but on your relationship to God himself.” –Oswald Chambers

Thank you for partnering with us over the last 10 months and even now in these last 40 days!

Aimee