Orphan Care Is...

The complexities of caring for orphans are too many to number.  The phrase “orphan crisis” really couldn’t be any more accurate. It’s not an exaggeration.  Simply being an orphan is a crisis yet alone the circumstances under which these children are left behind by death, bought, sold, enslaved, abandoned or agonizingly handed over out of desperation by people who love them. If that isn’t difficult enough, now consider the conditions they daily survive, the lack of opportunities in their future and the shear number of children who in someway or another have found themselves in this category. It can take your breath away.

I know it has mine. 

When you hear the phrase “care for orphans” we all know its not simple but on the surface its tempting to think that a few caring adults could pull some resources together and execute & maintain a level of care that would be “acceptable”, right? Many people provide children with food, clothing, shelter, education, discipline, care & nurturing. How difficult could it really be?

Very.

Let me explain…these are various factors I’ve heard discussed as plans are brainstormed to care for children in an orphanage. (By the way, I’m not criticizing anyone who is faced with these questions and considerations as they manage an orphanage and weigh limited options. Thinking through these factors helped me see the complexity of it all.)

Housing

Current building is rented, have to move out by the end of the year, no money to buy new land, current property also houses a school that community children come to as well. The children pay to come to school, which is a small income for the orphanage. However, the children have stopped paying to come as their families can no longer afford it. They also must eat while they are at school depleting the orphanage’s small food budget. But, how do you tell the neighborhood children to stop coming?  Where will we go when the lease is up and we are forced to move out? We need a loan, we can’t get a loan. Also, it’s complicated and expensive and risky.

School

Where do the children start school in the Fall? When to register? At the current location with onsite teachers, or near the unknown temporary place they’ll move before they get to buy the new land or near the new land so they don’t have to switch part way through the year? Is it cheaper to pay for teacher’s salaries to teach the 29 children or send them to school off site? If they go off site then they’ll need more specialized uniforms, books, shoes, exam fees, food but that will save the amount needed to pay multiple teachers. Which is more beneficial? When do you decide? The uniform depends on which school, but we don’t know which school, but you can’t start school without the uniform.

Food

How much rice do you use each month? Currently rely on donations & a small outside financial donation. Usually only get rice & beans donated. Some extra food comes in sporadically. When we have more variety we use less rice & beans. When we have only rice & beans; we use more rice and beans. Its different every month. There are eggs from the chickens and we sell the extra eggs, but the chicken food is expensive. Is it worth it financially and time wise?

Water

3,000 gallons of water is needed each week for washing, bathing & cooking and often runs out early. A truck delivers this water and fills the cistern. But, you can’t drink this water and when the kids do, they get sick. So, 100 jugs of drinking water are purchased each month. The children don’t understand to just drink it and not play with it and push the button for fun. They are kids, remember!?  What about the tablets that used to help purify the cistern water? They are gone. Oh, but there was a chlorine system installed in the tank on the roof. Yes, but that is broken. Can you get it fixed? The company that installed it is out of business. But if that were fixed, you’d save money on having to buy drinking water. Right, but how do we fix it if the company closed? How about an osmosis system to use the water from the cistern as drinking water and can also sell water to the neighborhood?  Well, that system costs $3,000-$5000 and takes out ALL the minerals. So, a reverse osmosis system is better, but not sure how much that costs.

Transportation

Difficult to estimate. How many times to the doctor? How far away is it?  How far away is the donation of food being dropped off? How many times to the market?

Charcoal

Is expensive and not the preferred method for cooking. But, propane is expensive too and the tanks are empty because there’s no money to fill them. Actually, there is a piece broken and if they fill them, they will leak and that will be dangerous. So don’t fill them. But, we could fix them and save money on charcoal but then again, maybe its too dangerous to have this much propane so close to the house.

Insurance

$10 USD per child per month and still required to pay 75% of medication costs. Except, if its basic medication and insurance will cover major things and hospitalization. But, $10 is difficult to sacrifice for each child monthly, but that’s the point of insurance. But, they could really use that extra money each month.

Funding

Current funding comes from multiple sources at different times throughout the month. Some operate on credit & reimbursement, other is direct payment. However, when material donations increase, monetary amount decreases. Average amount per month varies. Bad news is that a major funding source is ending sooner than later. Most of the teacher & nanny salaries come from this funding. How will they be paid now?

Security

Have to have security on site. Only money for one guard who also helps with other things and has to sleep SOME time.

Electricity

Currently getting from the landlord since the house is rented, but will be an expense in the future, but don’t know how much to budget for. City power is unpredictable, generators are expensive and require ongoing maintenance & fuel, and inverters are also pricey.

Clothing

Specific clothes are needed for school, but where will they be going to school? There’s no money to budget for other clothes, so relying on donations is the only option.  What if they don’t get the correct sizes of clothes & shoes?

Donations

Are sporadic and vary in type & quantity each month. Sometimes receive a lot of diapers & formula. They only have 2 little ones who need this. Do you say this or just let them keep coming in in case you run low later? Or do you ask if they have other donations they could give instead? Does this look bad? Will they stop giving diapers & formula?  Donations are rarely for supplemental food like spices, vegetables, fruits & meat.

Sponsor Program

How do we do this? How do we maintain it? How much would sponsors pay? Who will write profiles and update sponsors? Sponsors will want to see budget information for credibility, but that is difficult to provide. Well, how much does it take to care for a child each month? It’s hard to say because donations vary each month and it’s difficult to say an exact budgeted dollar amount.

Other Factors

In one group of people discussing these matters, we had different first languages, forms of currency, weights & measures, ideas of budgeting, expectations for childcare, backgrounds, education level, cultures and goals.

I know I’m over simplifying on SO many levels, but sometimes I think as an outsider looking in, its easy to think that the people “here” or “there” should be doing a “better” job taking care of children.  It’s so easy to have all the answers to fix the seemingly obvious issues and wonder how children are living in such difficult circumstances.

Its easy to quickly say...

• Why isn’t the money just managed better?
• Well if there were just a few more nannies.
• Their diets really should have more fresh fruits & veggies.
• Surely they have other clothes, that child had that outfit on the last 10 times I’ve seen them.
• Isn’t there an easier way to do this or that? 

Well, I’m learning it’s not that easy. Something will have to be sacrificed to add anything to the picture, but what if there is really nowhere to pull or adjust resources? What do I expect? Create something out of thin air?  Sometimes I think I do impose this expectation.

Mind you, I’m operating under a lot of assumptions including the big one that the people caring for these children are in in for the right reasons, do care about them and are not misusing resources and funds. I’m not even going to touch the issues around cases where sadly this is often not the case.

The details involved in caring for tiny, broken lives will give you an ulcer. I’m not kidding. Two actually—one in your heart and one in your gut. This stuff is crazy hard and I’m still very much an outsider looking in and sometimes I find myself going around in circles feeling overwhelmed & paralyzed as to how best to care for children who have been through loss, trauma, abandonment and now are living in less than an ideal situation to help them through these struggles. Do these questions and factors exhaust you like they do me?

Imagine what it feels like for the person responsible for keeping all of these children fed & safe every day in a country where daily life is a major struggle on so many levels from poverty, safety, government unrest, incredible heat, inconsistent electricity, unsafe water, crime, few jobs, inadequate medical care, family crisis…the list goes on and on and ON. Basic daily survival is about as far as you get most days let alone improving, nurturing, changing, reevaluating, etc…these are lofty goals in a place where its difficult to simply survive.

In the midst of all of these factors & details, there are children. Precious lives who the Creator formed in the secret places of their mothers’ wombs. We are talking SOULS whose lives have mattered and WILL matter for ALL of eternity.

I feel like a deer in headlights and I don’t have a house full of children looking at me when they are hungry, sad, frustrated, lonely, missing mommy, hurt, angry, misbehaving and in need. I cannot imagine the weight of the responsibility if I did.

I’m the first to say I have A LOT to learn, but one thing I’m confident of is that all of this is tremendously complicated.

Its easy for “us” to impose our standards of care, nutrition, cleanliness, child rearing, nurturing & education because we are using “OUR” cultural & financial framework as a reference.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t hope for and desire the best in all these areas of need for each and every child, but when our energy goes to criticism and critiques, I think its easy to lose sight of the fact that we are dealing with deep rooted, complicated matters far more involved than we as humans can contain, manage, critique, change and improve to meet a certain standard.  We are operating in a broken world where there are not easy answers.

I hope & pray that I can shift my focus from looking at all that seems “wrong” and look at true needs versus a matter of cultural & individual preference within my personal framework and focus my time and attention on supporting the people who are working hard every day to make sense of the chaos.  Maybe they need help making a plan, prioritizing needs, researching options or a shoulder to cry on.

To be honest, I think it would be easy to give up. I need to remind myself that as I swoop in and out here and there to visit, play or help a day here and there, these people are there for the long haul day in and day out and I have no idea what it would be like to be in their shoes.  It is so much more than an easy fix here or there that is truly going to benefit the children who desperately need so much.  

This may sound like I’m giving up because it’s too difficult and complicated. Definitely not! If anything I’m even more motivated to find ways that make sense culturally, financially, physically and will have the most significant level of impact for the long term benefit of the children.  I’m not going to waste energy on being distracted by personal preference of things that may not matter long term.

I’m in no way giving myself a free pass from speaking up about issues, concerns, problems, care, safety, health and overall well-being of children. I’m simply asking myself to reevaluate what DOES really matter and ask how easy of a fix is this or that idea? Is it something that will change only the surface and leave a broken system underneath? Chances are it’s NOT as easy as it looks and may not be where time, energy & resources are best invested on a particular day. And truly, it’s day-by-day.

There is so much I don’t know, but I do know I want the BEST for these children and I believe that this happens most effectively within the context of a loving family. The reality of that is sadly not an option for thousands of children, further reinforcing our desperate need to look to the ultimate care, guidance, wisdom and provision from our Heavenly Father to show us what really matters to Him. My limited human view points me to quick criticism & quick fixes.

We do not have time to waste on personal preferences, critiques, surface-level remedies that give the appearance of meeting a certain standard and then assuming the child is better off. There are too many children (souls) longing to feel deeply cared for, cherished, valued and important for us to be distracted by the temptation to provide a quick fix and walk away. One that gives us the gratification of seeing an immediate change that meets a standard that feels more acceptable to us, possibly causing us to miss an opportunity to really help & invest in a meaningful way. 

I'm not saying ignore the basic needs or diminishing their importance. Or that I have any answers. But, I think it is important that we decide how & where to focus our energy in such a way that basic needs can be met in a sustainable way without our personal preferences being the driving force for how things "should" be done. Also, understanding that even the most simple things can be really challenging.

All this to say…

• Orphan care is complicated.
• Orphan care is easy to over simplify.
• Orphan care is a long-term commitment.
• Orphan care is not about me and my brilliant ideas.
• Orphan care is deep, multi-leveled issues that require time & education to be able to help effectively across cultural, language and endless other potential barriers.  
• Orphan care is fighting for sustainable resources to meet daily needs, but doesn’t end there.
• Orphan care is beyond what human hands can coordinate.
• Orphan care is actually caring for little lives who have the potential to be restored, Christ-following, loving people whose lives can be a picture of redemption to a broken world around them.
• Orphan care forces me to look outside myself to the Perfect Father who loves me so well and adopted me as His own. He cares for my individual needs, heals my brokenness and daily meets my physical needs. I look to His example and plead for wisdom to know how He would best use me to be a part of His plan to care for children who so need to know the love of a Father.  

Making Sense of the Blur

So many good intentions to blog; so little brainpower to do it. Time is getting away from me.  It felt like our first few months here were some bizarre time warp which is probably quite common for someone who feels like they’re adapting to life on another planet.

Helllooooo, welcome to your newwwwww liiiiiiffffffeeeeeeeeee. Eaaaaccccchhhhhhhhh daaaayyyyyyyy willlll feeeeel like 5 days and you’lllllll be readddddyyyyyy for bedddd at 6:455555555555pm....

wellllcooooommmmmeeeeee.

And then I blinked and all of the sudden we’ve been here 9 months. Excuse me, can someone tell me how that happened? Time warps. They’ll get ya every time. Many days life feels like this:

 crazy, messy and beautiful all at the same time.

We are by no means experts on life here, but we have a “routine” (I use the word loosely) and we have adapted to a level of functioning that gets us through most days with some level of success. And by success, I mean avoiding major catastrophes, head on collisions, remembering to eat and surviving dust clouds and drinking enough water to counteract the profuse sweating.

Somewhere along the line, time has found a way of marching on and picked up to a steady jog with moments of sprinting and moments of falling on our faces.  Keeps us humble.

To summarize the blur…(fyi...blurs are not in perfect chronological order...)

We’ve hosted mission teams, friends have visited, my dad came & adoptive families have brought home their children. 

Then my mom came. We traveled north of Port-au-Prince a few hours on one trip and a couple hours south on another trip to visit various orphanages and ministries.

We hosted our friend Hieu who is an amazing photographer who blessed us with his time & skills.  We’ve had rainy season, mango season and now its just plain burn-your-face-off-hot season.

We continue to assist with adoption paperwork, coordinate with orphanages, assist with food distribution through a fund that has been set up with AWAA, oversee daily happenings at the guesthouse, spend time with children at orphanages and connect with other missionaries & expats.

We took a trip to the U.S. for our church retreat, said goodbye to our missionary neighbors who moved back to TN, attended a women’s retreat, celebrated our 1 year anniversary, I attended a pottery class, got away to the mountains for a weekend and celebrated Tim’s birthday.

And in the midst of it all, we made the gut-wrenching decision to move back to the U.S. after our 1-year commitment is up in August/Sept.  Most difficult decision I’ve ever made on many levels. Not stopping too long on this thought or I'll waste much needed hydration on tears...and moving on.

**BREATHE**

That, my friends is why I haven’t had the energy to blog. Some days I feel like an overcooked spaghetti noodle.  My physical energy is zapped, my emotions are raw and I don’t take the time to focus what energy I do have on organizing my thoughts in a way that make any sense even to me, yet alone you in the blog-o-sphere. So in some ways, be glad this mess hasn't hit your screen.

Thankfully I have a constant stream of photos that can help me piece these last few months together!

Through it all, I can say that I’ve continued to see God work in many ways from small details on a daily basis to major life decisions where we cried out to Him for wisdom. 

Friends & family have sacrificed to bless us through visiting us here, orphans have become sons & daughters, people’s lives transformed as they step out and serve, tough topics of faith discussed with our Haitian friends, people have given everything from diapers to art supplies to bless the children we've come to love, protection from sickness and God’s continued provision for our physical, financial and spiritual needs. 


God’s hand is evident and in the storm of changes & emotions, He is our constant rock-- the foundation upon which we will continue to build our lives.



He is the one we will cling to as we trust His plan for our remaining time here and the days to come as we transition back home.  Until then, I am choosing to be ALL here soaking up every sweaty, crazy, amazing minute knowing its all been a gift and I don't want to miss any part of this amazing story He's writing...

A Rainy Day Adventure

The bar has officially been raised.

What was adventurous before is now regular, daily life.  I see the whirlwind of activity around me as we drive around, but it doesn’t register a lot of times anymore.  A special thank you to my 5 senses and that certain part of the brain for helping a girl out and screening the extras out for me or I’d be hiding in a corner somewhere completely overloaded trying to sort through sights, sounds, smells and tastes.

“Normal” scenes around me don’t put up an alert anymore in my mind. That is until new guests arrive and I see their eyes become the size of saucers while being tossed about and I’m reminded that most are not used to a drive down the street involving…

• Goats, cows, horses, chickens, pigs wandering freely
• Roads you drove on yesterday suddenly disappearing today
• Large piles of rocks in the middle of the road
• Massive loads of various cargo on a person’s head
• Several adults on a moto with huge bags, animals, sharp tools, eggs, water, chunks of ice…
• Community water pumps for drinking, washing, laundry, car wash or to fill a bucket and haul home
• Markets in the streets, consequently creating large crowds of people shopping in the streets while traffic flies by.
• Few traffic signs
• Narrow mountain roads with previously mentioned markets in the roads, sudden twist and turns, amazing views, terrifying drop offs…guard rails? Not so much.
• Vehicles splashed with a rainbow of paint colors depicting Bible scenes, sports figures & movie stars.
• Pot holes the size of baby elephants
• Buses coming at you in your lane and honking…wait…are you not the one in MY lane?!?
• Objects like mattresses, produce, metal rebar balancing precariously on the top of a tap tap
• People napping in wheel barrels
• Large vehicles squeezing through the tiniest passage ways…on the wrong side of the road…backwards. 

You get the idea…

The fact is simple. There is A LOT to see out there.  And just face it; my commute is way more exciting than yours.

Because this all describes an average day; it takes a lot to qualify as an adventure in my book these days.

Last Tuesday raised the bar…or maybe the bar floated away in the road that turned into a river while we sat in a tap tap in the middle of it all.  The experience scored a 10/10 on the “am I dreaming?” scale.

The day started out like any other.  My mom, our guests, translator, driver, Tim & I set out for the day at about 9 am.  We were headed to a hotel to swim and hang out for the day.  It was beautiful. The sun was shining, the views were lovely, the air cooler, the children loved the water and giggled, splashed and jumped in the pool until every ounce of energy was spent.

Around 3:00 we noticed a cloud coming in…to which I replied “oh, it hardly ever rains during the day; I’m sure its fine.”  We packed up and piled back in the tap tap for the trip down the mountain back to the guesthouse.

Soon, we felt a few raindrops and the temperature was cooling down.  No big deal, we had a tap tap with a window, rather than a screen so the rain couldn’t get at us too badly and it was only sprinkling. Carry on.

Before too long, the sprinkling turned into a full on rain, then a down pour, then dumping buckets, then a full on frog strangler, as my dad would call it.

The faster the rain came down, the slower the traffic moved.  It wasn’t long before the traffic was stopped and we were measuring progress in yards per hour, rather than miles. 

Sitting was ok though because it seemed that the alternative could have quickly turned to floating and that would have been bad because I forgot my life jacket and oars.  So we sat and watched the water rush by and the people run for cover and the water rush down the road, side walks, drainage ditches, off roof tops, and well…everywhere.

We tried one road…no luck getting through.

We tried another…that one is blocked too.

We returned to the first road, now farther back in the long line. We were going nowhere fast.

The group in the tap tap was taking it surprisingly well. We all pointed out the amazing clouds, where the water was deepest, alternate methods of getting home and surrendered to the fact that there was absolutely nothing we could do about our current situation. 

Now the bulleted list of normal day sights (listed above) was happening around us but with a rainy season twist. Adventure worthy, I do believe.

We reminisced about that one time it took 1.5 hours to get home and how loooong that was. 

We played “would you rather” and asked questions like would you rather drink a gallon of bean sauce or soak in a tub of hot sauce?  Or, would you rather run 2 hours in the blazing heat or sit in a tap tap for 8 hours in the rain? Becoming a little crazy? I believe so.

Stories were told, favorite ice cream flavors discussed, beach towels shared and wrapped around to protect from some rain and then we realized…

It’s getting dark soon. How long do we continue on?  Or in our case, NOT continue on. 

Hours before we joked about who would sleep where in the tap tap, how much trail mix we’d get every 4 hours, diapers remaining and who would stay awake for the night. What was a story a few hours ago was looking more like a feasible emergency survival plan for the night.

We had been either sitting completely still or moving very little for many hours. When we did move, it was simply circling around to where we had been previously and had made very little progress away from our original location or towards home. We sere stuck in limbo rainy traffic jam land and feeling trapped.

 

Did I mention the exhaust? It was nauseating. The trucks around us tooted their stinky fumes at us without shame and we had no where to go to escape…just breath the stink and keep waiting. Dancing that line between keeping your breaths shallow enough to minimize the long-term negative effects of unfiltered black fumes, yet getting enough air to keep from passing out.

Soon the wooden bench was starting to meld with our tailbones, the metal back rest was leaving a dent in our spines, the giggling began to diminish, we were damp, chilly and not getting any where.

In reality we were probably 4 miles from home, but it could have been 400 at the rate we were going.  It was time to make a decision.

Option A: Keep circling around in the fume ridden, flooded streets, sitting on a wooden plank and enter into darkness with no way to know when we’d get home.

Oh gee…can we please do this? All night!?!

Option B:  Circle back AGAIN towards where we had come from at 3 pm and look for a hotel.

Not ideal considering I have nothing with me for the night except a swimming suit, dead phone, a bag of mangos and hand sanitizer. But, could there be a hot shower!?!??! Done deal.

Despite the drawbacks of option b, it quickly became the preferred option.  We soon found ourselves at a hotel in Petionville.  So close to home…yet so far away. A turn we did not expect to take when we left the pool nearly 5 hours earlier. Yes, 5 hours.

Let me just say that the 2 and 4 year olds in the midst of it all stunned all of us. They were such troopers through it all. They didn’t fuss or complain the least bit about being stuck in a confined space for hours on end.

Everyone settled in for the night…shaking our heads at what had just happened, getting our bearings and questioning “was it really that long”?

Yes, yes it was.

The next morning, the sun was up bright and early…the streets were dry, drainage ditches mostly empty, few signs of what we had witnessed the day before.  Life was simply back to the boring bulleted list of everyday sights…thankfully no adventures to be found.

In approximately 26 minutes, we were down the mountain. Only 25.5 hours after we left for a regular pool trip, we were home from an unexpected adventure wondering if it all had actually happened.

Yes, yes it had.  

Thoughts on 7 months

*from Tim...

As we reach the (7) month mark in our yearlong Haiti journey, Aimee and I realize that we probably have more questions about life here than we do answers.  Daily existence in Haiti often feels like an unsolvable riddle, one that feels comprehendible before the floor drops out from underneath of you.   How can we really begin to put words to our lives in Haiti?  How could one describe the level of poverty, desperation, corruption, despair, smiles, laughter, homelessness, and child abandonment?  How could a country with so much beautify be filled with so much complexity? 

The last several weeks have been proven to be particularly trying for us, with amazing moments of grace tucked in between the frustration.  There have been the smiles from beautiful orphans, and wonderful/precious hugs from children that have come to know our familiar faces.  There have been aha-moments in teaching English to our Haitian friends.  And there have been sweet times with new missionary friends in our local church community.  Aimee was even able to attend a women’s retreat with ladies from a couple of different English-speaking churches.

I am thankful for new relationships that God has brought Aimee and I here in the midst of a strange land, perplexing situations, and periods of great trial.  God is so kind to lead us to such encouraging and helpful friends here in Haiti.  Just the other night, I was able to join some other guys at an Irish pub in Port-au-Prince, where we enjoyed legitimate on-tap Irish Guinness and thoughtful…encouraging conversation.  I am grateful for the advice, encouragement, and listening ear that friends have offered.  I am also grateful for our pastor and his wife, here in PAP… who sadly, are leaving to move back to Australia this Summer.  Their desire to care for and uplift Aimee and I has been monumental to our experience.   God was also so kind as to place us two houses up from wonderful missionary neighbors that have become very dear friends.  Their friendship has contributed to our sanity and up building in unforeseen ways; we hope they are just as encouraged by us. 

I believe the Lord sovereignly placed each one of these friends and acquaintances in our lives in order to provide us with just the right amount of grace needed to withstand the trials and temptations that this year in Haiti has brought.  How could we really have known the culture barriers that awaited us, the complete otherness that is Haiti?  How could we have known that it is wiser to be cautious and then trust others?  How could we have known that we would have so many questions?  How could we have known the effect that such dire poverty would have upon a society?  How could we have known the sorrow that orphans face?  How could we have known the joy of contentment when entertainment is stripped from you? How could we have been prepared for discouragement and missing our friends and family so much? 

But with the apostle Paul I must confess… “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us”. 

Our Lord Jesus is Sovereign and we are thankful and needy children at His feet.  

My Promise

Give us this day our daily bread...

There is a restlessness to the ache you feel in your heart when you feel there is so little you can do to help another, especially a precious child. 

A child whose eyes tell you he longs for more. 

Perhaps that restlessness is there to cause us (me) to look past the logical solutions and ask bigger questions and run faster towards the cross, falling at the feet of the One who met each of our most dire need and plead on their behalf for mercy, protection and love to overflow in their lives. 

Because maybe what they truly need is something I cannot even offer with human hands. 

May my feeling of helplessness remind me of their true helplessness and open my eyes to ways that are higher than mine.  

Today, little ones, I promise to look past my human-minded solutions and put aside my pride that tempts me to believe I know your needs. 

Instead, I will pray that the One who is Father to both of us would meet you in a powerful way in the deepest corners of your innocent heart. 

Your questions answered!

I wanted to do something different, so I asked for your questions. What did YOU want to know about life in Haiti from someone who has now been here for 6 months.

So in what became a rather long post, I have done my best to answer your questions. Let's get rollin'!

I’d love to know more about the daily care the orphans receive.

We have been at various orphanages for different lengths of time and for different parts of the children’s days, so these are some general observations and certainly would vary by orphanage. Here are things I’ve seen…

 

• Wake up time is early, like 5:30-6:30 am.
• School starts pretty young in general in Haiti. The general guideline is by the time they are potty trained they are off to pre-school.
• Children wear adorable matching uniforms. Everything from the hair bows, shirt, skirts, dresses, socks, shoes are all coordinating.
• Some children have school right on the same property as the orphanage.
• Corn Flakes or porridge served for breakfast.
• School is over by 1 or 2 pm. Some schools serve lunch, other times children bring a lunch. Most children walk to school.
• Classrooms tend to be open, often to a main courtyard area.
• Children say a morning pledge of allegiance and sing before school.
• Days at the orphanage, the children are playing, napping, playing outside throughout the day.  Typically there are few toys, but the kids come up with creative things to do and play.
• They always seem very independent at young ages.
• The children help each other out a lot from dressing, feeding, holding, etc…
• They are smart...they'll use a long pole to knock mangos off a tree or turn one thing into something completely different & new. 

• Some older children enjoy helping with the babies and little ones and I’ve seen many of them in the nursery during meal times feeding a baby.
• The nannies are busy with diapers, feeding, clothing, etc…
• It often reminds of school from lining up for bathroom break, water, being served food, etc…
• Things wind down when it gets dark around 8 pm.
• Bath time happens quickly and is more of a shower than bath. There is not hot water.
• Meals are very basic and often very similar each day. Children are not picky eaters and eat what is given to them. I have seen many children sharing the last bites of food they have with each other. They usually eat 2 big portions each day, rather than 3 meals.  They can eat a lot at once. They don’t drink a lot of water.

What has been the hardest thing to get used to?

It’s difficult to pinpoint one specific thing because pretty much everything about our lives changed overnight.  Everything from the language spoken around us, scenery, foods, sounds, smells, culture, weather, pace of life, routines, job, activities, new insects, riding in a tap-tap, house, friends, crazy traffic, bumpy dirt roads, animals wandering our neighborhood, etc... So the combination of all of these things being new overnight was challenging.  I felt like we were in a fog for a while trying to sort through it all and make sense of our new world. Oh, and then throw in the fact that we had only been married for 4 months!

Aside from all the logistics and things about life we needed to adjust to, its been difficult to wrestle with the feeling of wanting to help meet all the needs we see around us every day, but recognizing we can’t do it all. I certainly don’t want to use that as an excuse not to do something to help and I also don’t want to become numb to the needs but its difficult to know how to process it all and know what to do. I heard someone say that you have to learn that it is ok to say no in some situations so that you can say yes to what God has called you to so that you can do it well.  This was helpful to know that we can only do what God has put in front of us and focus on how we can best do that. So as hard as it is to say no, it does allow you to say yes.

I don’t think I was prepared for how emotionally challenging it would be at times. I knew this in theory, but it’s been more intense than I had imagined.

What is your favorite Haitian food/meal?

My favorite food in Haiti is fruit! It is so deliciously sweet and the flavors seem…probably how they are supposed to!  The fruit actually has seeds, doesn’t ripen in the back of a refrigerated truck and its just yummy! Chadek (like a grapefruit/orange combo), bananas, mangos, passion fruit & pineapple are my favorites. Don’t even get me started on the fresh juices…

The Haitian food I like the best is Mayi Moulen (similar to grits) with black beans and legim. Legim is a variety of vegetables cooked down and served with the Mayi Moulen. Its also really good served with some fresh avocado that you may have picked from your back yard J

What is your favorite time of day? And why?

I really enjoy the mornings here. The streets are filled with the activity of markets being set up, children going to school all decked out in their uniforms and the air may even have a slight coolness to it.  I am usually a night owl and like to sleep in but with the early morning sounds from the kitchen, dogs barking, roosters and early morning sunshine…sleeping in really isn’t an option so I’ve learned to appreciate the earlier hours of the day. I find myself ready for bed quite early!  I call it my new Haitian bedtime. I wonder if this schedule will stick when we return to the U.S.? I have a feeling not because things just happen later in the evenings at home. We usually don’t even go out after dark here, so it really puts you on a different schedule!

I do also love going up to our upstairs porch and watching the amazing sunsets in the evening. Sometimes I can barely believe my eyes; the colors, clouds and light is spectacular. Definitely the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen have been here.

What do you think of the weather?

Honestly, it has been difficult to get used to being hot pretty much all the time.  We are more used to it now and it’s been “winter” so only in the 80’s & 90’s so its been nice. There isn’t the relief of much air conditioning so you feel hot, sweaty (& dusty) a lot. I know constant sunshine & warmth sounds like a luxury to many of you suffering through a long winter, so I don’t mean to complain. But, it really does take getting used to such a drastic climate change and the sun has a different intensity here.  Doing a few simple tasks can drain me in no time! I feel more sluggish and like I just want to sit to avoid sweating even more! I’m often confused about what month it is because there are no distinct seasons like we are used to. So to me it feels like we’ve been in an eternal July/August cycle. I do love the ease of shorts, t-shirt and flip flops every day and the beauty of all of the green leaves, colorful flowers, blue sky, gorgeous beaches, etc…So the mornings and evenings are definitely my favorite part of the days!

What do you miss most from the U.S.?

I miss our families, friends & church community!  It is a strange feeling to meet with people throughout the week for small group, church meetings and socializing and then all of the sudden to not have that at all.  We have been able to attend church here and get to know some people which has been a huge blessing in easing the transition.  We feel very fortunate to have so many wonderful friends and family at home who are supporting us through prayer, finances and encouragement. We would not be here without their support, but we do very much miss seeing them each week and sharing in each other’s lives.

Little things I miss…coffee shops, hot showers, frozen yogurt, our first apartment, buying familiar foods & ingredients that don’t cost a fortune, Target, looking nice, changing seasons, the freedom to jump in the car and come and go, being out in the evenings, restaurants. Don’t judge me on the number of food related things on my list...

Do you have running water?

Yes, a couple times each month a water truck comes and fills up a well. The water is pumped to a tank on the roof and we have normal sinks, showers & toilets. You would think the water would heat up on the roof, but it stays pretty cool. So hot showers are a treat we look forward to when we are at a hotel or home for a visit!

What’s the best thing about married life?

People often give us a look of surprise when we tell them how long (or short) we’ve been married.  They say something like, “wow, isn’t that really tough for your first year of marriage?” To which we reply…we don’t know any different!? We’ll have no other first year to compare it to, so for us its what’s “normal”.  I think we have learned so much more about each other in the last 6 months than we would have otherwise. We share everything…work, life, house, schedule, projects, meals…everything!  It’s been great to learn to rely on each other and to both use our strengths to figure out so many new things.  It’s been encouraging to see how God uses us to balance each other out and learn from each other. Its nice to know that we are in this together and that its something totally new for both of us so its given us a lot of opportunities to give each other grace, practice patience and realize areas we need to change & grow. Marriage has shown me a lot about myself and is teaching me how to put another person first in very practical, everyday ways. (which is good, but not always easy!) Its fun to share in all the little things each day that are meaningful to each of us from a cup of coffee, showing Tim all the things I find “pretty”, experiencing so many new places, learning a new language, laughing a lot together, trying to help each other stay sane in moments of craziness and having a constant friend by my side.

What does a “typical” day look like?

That’s a great question! Each day has it’s own adventures.  It varies a lot based on whether we have guests at the house or not. 

Various tasks throughout the day could be…

• Guesthouse tasks like grocery shopping, banking, budgeting, advertising, planning for guests and coordinating details with translators, airport pick up schedule, meals etc…
• Adoption-going to IBESR, visiting orphanages, processing paperwork, taking families to appointments, helping with dossiers. Of course, the best part…going along with families to pick up their children!
• Teams- various teams come to stay at the house as well. They may be associated with an AWAA ACT trip or coming on their own and just need a place to stay so we work with coordinating their trips as well.
• Other activities throughout the week…traffic, blogging, communicating with staff, seeing friends, going out or pizza or getting coffee out for a treat, chatting with goats, taking pictures, meeting with the staff at the guesthouse, going for walks, learning Creole, spending time with guests, etc…

Meals- Tim & I do our own thing for breakfast & lunch. Dinner we eat a Haitian meal and on the weekends I cook. We enjoy eating meals together when guests are here. Its like a revolving family dinner table...we sit at the same table and we always have new people to talk to!

What are the local foods and do you have them at home?

Many fruits & veggies are grown locally.

Plantains are grown all over and are cooked by frying or boiling them.

Rice & beans and some type of meat like goat, fish, chicken or beef in a sauce.

Bean sauce over rice. Beans are cooked with spices & coconut and then blended & strained.

Just in our yard, we have coconuts, mangos, avocados, kiwi, limes & oranges!

What has God been teaching you through your time there?

Oy, what hasn’t He been teaching me might be a shorter list! God has challenged & built my faith in so many ways.  To start from the beginning, we were shown an incredibly generous outpouring of love, help & support to propel us onto this journey.  I immediately questioned my past responses when needs are presented such as service opportunities, donation requests, missionary prayer needs, financial needs and how I respond to them. We saw generosity like we’ve never seen before and it was given without hesitation. Beyond humbling!

God is my rock. When everything changed overnight and sometimes it seems things are changing day to day, He is my constant sure foundation through it all.

So many things I thought I had understood have been challenged.  Things like being content no matter what the circumstances…Jesus being the only source of true joy…having faith that God will provide…

Seeing the body of Christ in action through giving, serving, supporting and getting involved has been really encouraging. Its helped me to see how God uses each of us in unique ways to accomplish something so much bigger than we can do on our own.

Humility has been a huge lesson I’ve been learning.  It’s so easy to think that I have answers, solutions and ideas that will really make a difference when in reality I am here learning and observing a completely different way of life.  What seems like the right way is not even an option in so many cases. So I’ve learned to step back, appreciate the process as much as the end goal and have seen clearly that I really have more questions than answers.

God has also been teaching me that nothing we see here or anywhere is a surprise to Him.  He knows people’s needs more intimately than we ever could and cares about people more than we can fathom.  He doesn’t need me to accomplish His plan, but He gives me the opportunity to be a part of it and experience the joy of seeing Him work.  I don’t need to fix anything; I just need to be faithful to care for and love the people He puts in my path, no matter where I live. Some places loving someone could mean spending time with them, providing for a physical need, praying for someone, holding a child, encouraging someone…it’s going to look different every day. I can’t solve every single problem and meet every need; I can only look at what God has placed in my hands and ask Him how I might best use these things to serve Him.

Every step I take closer to knowing, loving and caring for a child who has been orphaned, I see a glimpse of the gospel in a tangible way. Children who have nothing are scooped up into the arms of a loving family, given a new name, new life and unconditional love. It blows my mind to walk into an orphanage with a family, see a child who woke up that morning as an orphan completely unaware of what the day holds and go to bed that night as a son or daughter forever a part of a family is amazing! Every document, approval, signature, letter, fee, stamp, fingerprint, certification that has to happen for a child to be adopted truly is a miracle when it all comes together & is accomplished! 

What has been the most challenging thing you have faced regarding adoptions and also culturally? The most rewarding?

I used to work with another country & program in the adoption process, so its been a lot to learn a new process & paperwork.  It can be difficult to understand why certain steps take a long time or what is happening at each of the steps.  It’s frustrating when a step seems like it could be a quick thing and ends up taking longer when I know a child is waiting and a family is SO ready to have the child home. I wish I could do more! It can be difficult to be patient as we don’t see the whole picture of all the behind the scenes work going on for many children & families.  Often times the progress seems so slow, but I have seen God faithfully work out the seemingly endless details and the end result of a child going home which is by far the most rewarding!

I think culturally the challenge is remaining humble and recognizing that things may be done completely opposite of how we think they “should” be done. Yet, things get done in their own time and at a different pace than we may think.  I feel like I’ve gotten a glimpse into what an adopted child must feel when everything about their world changes and its pretty overwhelming. The language piece is huge and I think frustrating because it’s a slow process.  With other changes or differences you can see it, learn it, make adjustments and move on. Language just takes so long and it makes things so much more complicated to not be able to just quickly talk out the simplest things. 

There are many rewarding aspects of being in a new culture as well.  It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own little world so this has forced us out of our comfort zone on so many levels and its exciting, challenging & fun. We’ve learned to be more patient, understanding, interact differently, take life as it comes, be up for an adventure, be more spontaneous than we already were and see life through a completely different lense.

What’s your day to day like as far as culture, food, activities, etc…Just a glimpse into life in Haiti that might give us an idea of some of the things we might expect our children to eat, play, etc…

I feel like the key to learning a new culture is really observation and language. So as you think about helping your child adjust and learning what life is like for them, I’d say that learning as much Creole as possible is going to make a huge difference in your child’s adjustment and life.  Tim & I felt disoriented with all the Creole spoken around us. I can’t imagine what a child must feel like with only hearing English when they first come home.  The food is typically rice, beans & a meat sauce.  Sometimes plantains, beet salad, spicy cabbage salad, fried potatoes are also served.  It seems a lot of people I’ve met are not big on sweets & desserts. With the exception of juice & coffee which are served VERY sweet.  

The pace of life is very different in that a lot of time goes to each task of the day whether its walking to school, shopping for food, cooking everything from scratch, hauling water, washing laundry by hand all day, standing in long lines at the bank, waiting for hours at the doctor, etc…So there isn’t the “go, go, go” mentality that we so often have in the U.S.  Waiting is very much a part of life and seems to be much more accepted and better tolerated here than in the U.S.! Soccer is a big activity that many people enjoy watching & playing.  Artwork is popular and often sold at markets and along the roadways.  Attending a Sunday morning church service seems to be very much a part of the culture. Services start early and can go for many hours.  People dress up almost like they are going to a wedding. Women are in dresses, men are in suits and the children are in lacey, frilly dresses, bows and dress shirts & pants.  Its been fun to  how kids are kids no matter where you are. Boys will pretend to drive a car under a table, make a car out of a bottle and a string, a superhero cape out of a roll of paper, etc… The culture is very vibrant…bright colors, paintings, jewelry, music, passionate conversations, artistic ability, ingenuity.  

What are the best ways ordinary folks that can’t travel there help orphans?

Prayer is key. We know that God has answered so many prayers and sustained us in tangible ways through the prayers of those on this journey with us. 

I’ve realized more and more each day how little I can do apart from God’s strength and power working through me.

The needs are far more than I could ever meet. God’s power, love and grace are needed in each moment of the day as we complete adoption paperwork, spend time with children, interact with staff and interact with others.

The children who we interact with are such precious, individual, spunky, fun, sometimes wild and crazy kiddos that need prayer for physical health, emotional well-being, educational needs and spiritual protection in the difficulties they face and will face as a result of being an orphan.

Prayer for mountains to be moved related to approvals and paperwork for the children and families trying to adopt them.  There are many hurdles and potential delays that can make the process quite challenging.

Prayers for all of the children who will never have the opportunity to be adopted.  Pray for their future as one day they leave the orphanage with so much yet to learn about life.

Pray for the Church to be moved to care for children in need of loving families. This can happen in so many ways from mentoring, foster care, orphan care, sponsorship, supporting missionaries, etc…

Gathering donations such as formula, wipes, diapers, children’s vitamins, children & baby fever & cough/cold medicine. These are always a need! 

Another way to be involved is supporting short term teams, donation drives, long term missionaries who God has placed in a position to go.  That is the beauty I’ve seen in the Bod of Christ in action!

Be creative! There are ways that so many people can be involved from teens, college students, teachers, moms, those gifted in construction, physical therapy, caring for children who have special needs, art, sports…With teams that come to do these types of work, there are always supplies & support needed to make these trips happen. 

Whew!? That's it! Congrats if you made it to the end :)