Your questions answered!

I wanted to do something different, so I asked for your questions. What did YOU want to know about life in Haiti from someone who has now been here for 6 months.

So in what became a rather long post, I have done my best to answer your questions. Let's get rollin'!

I’d love to know more about the daily care the orphans receive.

We have been at various orphanages for different lengths of time and for different parts of the children’s days, so these are some general observations and certainly would vary by orphanage. Here are things I’ve seen…

 

• Wake up time is early, like 5:30-6:30 am.
• School starts pretty young in general in Haiti. The general guideline is by the time they are potty trained they are off to pre-school.
• Children wear adorable matching uniforms. Everything from the hair bows, shirt, skirts, dresses, socks, shoes are all coordinating.
• Some children have school right on the same property as the orphanage.
• Corn Flakes or porridge served for breakfast.
• School is over by 1 or 2 pm. Some schools serve lunch, other times children bring a lunch. Most children walk to school.
• Classrooms tend to be open, often to a main courtyard area.
• Children say a morning pledge of allegiance and sing before school.
• Days at the orphanage, the children are playing, napping, playing outside throughout the day.  Typically there are few toys, but the kids come up with creative things to do and play.
• They always seem very independent at young ages.
• The children help each other out a lot from dressing, feeding, holding, etc…
• They are smart...they'll use a long pole to knock mangos off a tree or turn one thing into something completely different & new. 

• Some older children enjoy helping with the babies and little ones and I’ve seen many of them in the nursery during meal times feeding a baby.
• The nannies are busy with diapers, feeding, clothing, etc…
• It often reminds of school from lining up for bathroom break, water, being served food, etc…
• Things wind down when it gets dark around 8 pm.
• Bath time happens quickly and is more of a shower than bath. There is not hot water.
• Meals are very basic and often very similar each day. Children are not picky eaters and eat what is given to them. I have seen many children sharing the last bites of food they have with each other. They usually eat 2 big portions each day, rather than 3 meals.  They can eat a lot at once. They don’t drink a lot of water.

What has been the hardest thing to get used to?

It’s difficult to pinpoint one specific thing because pretty much everything about our lives changed overnight.  Everything from the language spoken around us, scenery, foods, sounds, smells, culture, weather, pace of life, routines, job, activities, new insects, riding in a tap-tap, house, friends, crazy traffic, bumpy dirt roads, animals wandering our neighborhood, etc... So the combination of all of these things being new overnight was challenging.  I felt like we were in a fog for a while trying to sort through it all and make sense of our new world. Oh, and then throw in the fact that we had only been married for 4 months!

Aside from all the logistics and things about life we needed to adjust to, its been difficult to wrestle with the feeling of wanting to help meet all the needs we see around us every day, but recognizing we can’t do it all. I certainly don’t want to use that as an excuse not to do something to help and I also don’t want to become numb to the needs but its difficult to know how to process it all and know what to do. I heard someone say that you have to learn that it is ok to say no in some situations so that you can say yes to what God has called you to so that you can do it well.  This was helpful to know that we can only do what God has put in front of us and focus on how we can best do that. So as hard as it is to say no, it does allow you to say yes.

I don’t think I was prepared for how emotionally challenging it would be at times. I knew this in theory, but it’s been more intense than I had imagined.

What is your favorite Haitian food/meal?

My favorite food in Haiti is fruit! It is so deliciously sweet and the flavors seem…probably how they are supposed to!  The fruit actually has seeds, doesn’t ripen in the back of a refrigerated truck and its just yummy! Chadek (like a grapefruit/orange combo), bananas, mangos, passion fruit & pineapple are my favorites. Don’t even get me started on the fresh juices…

The Haitian food I like the best is Mayi Moulen (similar to grits) with black beans and legim. Legim is a variety of vegetables cooked down and served with the Mayi Moulen. Its also really good served with some fresh avocado that you may have picked from your back yard J

What is your favorite time of day? And why?

I really enjoy the mornings here. The streets are filled with the activity of markets being set up, children going to school all decked out in their uniforms and the air may even have a slight coolness to it.  I am usually a night owl and like to sleep in but with the early morning sounds from the kitchen, dogs barking, roosters and early morning sunshine…sleeping in really isn’t an option so I’ve learned to appreciate the earlier hours of the day. I find myself ready for bed quite early!  I call it my new Haitian bedtime. I wonder if this schedule will stick when we return to the U.S.? I have a feeling not because things just happen later in the evenings at home. We usually don’t even go out after dark here, so it really puts you on a different schedule!

I do also love going up to our upstairs porch and watching the amazing sunsets in the evening. Sometimes I can barely believe my eyes; the colors, clouds and light is spectacular. Definitely the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen have been here.

What do you think of the weather?

Honestly, it has been difficult to get used to being hot pretty much all the time.  We are more used to it now and it’s been “winter” so only in the 80’s & 90’s so its been nice. There isn’t the relief of much air conditioning so you feel hot, sweaty (& dusty) a lot. I know constant sunshine & warmth sounds like a luxury to many of you suffering through a long winter, so I don’t mean to complain. But, it really does take getting used to such a drastic climate change and the sun has a different intensity here.  Doing a few simple tasks can drain me in no time! I feel more sluggish and like I just want to sit to avoid sweating even more! I’m often confused about what month it is because there are no distinct seasons like we are used to. So to me it feels like we’ve been in an eternal July/August cycle. I do love the ease of shorts, t-shirt and flip flops every day and the beauty of all of the green leaves, colorful flowers, blue sky, gorgeous beaches, etc…So the mornings and evenings are definitely my favorite part of the days!

What do you miss most from the U.S.?

I miss our families, friends & church community!  It is a strange feeling to meet with people throughout the week for small group, church meetings and socializing and then all of the sudden to not have that at all.  We have been able to attend church here and get to know some people which has been a huge blessing in easing the transition.  We feel very fortunate to have so many wonderful friends and family at home who are supporting us through prayer, finances and encouragement. We would not be here without their support, but we do very much miss seeing them each week and sharing in each other’s lives.

Little things I miss…coffee shops, hot showers, frozen yogurt, our first apartment, buying familiar foods & ingredients that don’t cost a fortune, Target, looking nice, changing seasons, the freedom to jump in the car and come and go, being out in the evenings, restaurants. Don’t judge me on the number of food related things on my list...

Do you have running water?

Yes, a couple times each month a water truck comes and fills up a well. The water is pumped to a tank on the roof and we have normal sinks, showers & toilets. You would think the water would heat up on the roof, but it stays pretty cool. So hot showers are a treat we look forward to when we are at a hotel or home for a visit!

What’s the best thing about married life?

People often give us a look of surprise when we tell them how long (or short) we’ve been married.  They say something like, “wow, isn’t that really tough for your first year of marriage?” To which we reply…we don’t know any different!? We’ll have no other first year to compare it to, so for us its what’s “normal”.  I think we have learned so much more about each other in the last 6 months than we would have otherwise. We share everything…work, life, house, schedule, projects, meals…everything!  It’s been great to learn to rely on each other and to both use our strengths to figure out so many new things.  It’s been encouraging to see how God uses us to balance each other out and learn from each other. Its nice to know that we are in this together and that its something totally new for both of us so its given us a lot of opportunities to give each other grace, practice patience and realize areas we need to change & grow. Marriage has shown me a lot about myself and is teaching me how to put another person first in very practical, everyday ways. (which is good, but not always easy!) Its fun to share in all the little things each day that are meaningful to each of us from a cup of coffee, showing Tim all the things I find “pretty”, experiencing so many new places, learning a new language, laughing a lot together, trying to help each other stay sane in moments of craziness and having a constant friend by my side.

What does a “typical” day look like?

That’s a great question! Each day has it’s own adventures.  It varies a lot based on whether we have guests at the house or not. 

Various tasks throughout the day could be…

• Guesthouse tasks like grocery shopping, banking, budgeting, advertising, planning for guests and coordinating details with translators, airport pick up schedule, meals etc…
• Adoption-going to IBESR, visiting orphanages, processing paperwork, taking families to appointments, helping with dossiers. Of course, the best part…going along with families to pick up their children!
• Teams- various teams come to stay at the house as well. They may be associated with an AWAA ACT trip or coming on their own and just need a place to stay so we work with coordinating their trips as well.
• Other activities throughout the week…traffic, blogging, communicating with staff, seeing friends, going out or pizza or getting coffee out for a treat, chatting with goats, taking pictures, meeting with the staff at the guesthouse, going for walks, learning Creole, spending time with guests, etc…

Meals- Tim & I do our own thing for breakfast & lunch. Dinner we eat a Haitian meal and on the weekends I cook. We enjoy eating meals together when guests are here. Its like a revolving family dinner table...we sit at the same table and we always have new people to talk to!

What are the local foods and do you have them at home?

Many fruits & veggies are grown locally.

Plantains are grown all over and are cooked by frying or boiling them.

Rice & beans and some type of meat like goat, fish, chicken or beef in a sauce.

Bean sauce over rice. Beans are cooked with spices & coconut and then blended & strained.

Just in our yard, we have coconuts, mangos, avocados, kiwi, limes & oranges!

What has God been teaching you through your time there?

Oy, what hasn’t He been teaching me might be a shorter list! God has challenged & built my faith in so many ways.  To start from the beginning, we were shown an incredibly generous outpouring of love, help & support to propel us onto this journey.  I immediately questioned my past responses when needs are presented such as service opportunities, donation requests, missionary prayer needs, financial needs and how I respond to them. We saw generosity like we’ve never seen before and it was given without hesitation. Beyond humbling!

God is my rock. When everything changed overnight and sometimes it seems things are changing day to day, He is my constant sure foundation through it all.

So many things I thought I had understood have been challenged.  Things like being content no matter what the circumstances…Jesus being the only source of true joy…having faith that God will provide…

Seeing the body of Christ in action through giving, serving, supporting and getting involved has been really encouraging. Its helped me to see how God uses each of us in unique ways to accomplish something so much bigger than we can do on our own.

Humility has been a huge lesson I’ve been learning.  It’s so easy to think that I have answers, solutions and ideas that will really make a difference when in reality I am here learning and observing a completely different way of life.  What seems like the right way is not even an option in so many cases. So I’ve learned to step back, appreciate the process as much as the end goal and have seen clearly that I really have more questions than answers.

God has also been teaching me that nothing we see here or anywhere is a surprise to Him.  He knows people’s needs more intimately than we ever could and cares about people more than we can fathom.  He doesn’t need me to accomplish His plan, but He gives me the opportunity to be a part of it and experience the joy of seeing Him work.  I don’t need to fix anything; I just need to be faithful to care for and love the people He puts in my path, no matter where I live. Some places loving someone could mean spending time with them, providing for a physical need, praying for someone, holding a child, encouraging someone…it’s going to look different every day. I can’t solve every single problem and meet every need; I can only look at what God has placed in my hands and ask Him how I might best use these things to serve Him.

Every step I take closer to knowing, loving and caring for a child who has been orphaned, I see a glimpse of the gospel in a tangible way. Children who have nothing are scooped up into the arms of a loving family, given a new name, new life and unconditional love. It blows my mind to walk into an orphanage with a family, see a child who woke up that morning as an orphan completely unaware of what the day holds and go to bed that night as a son or daughter forever a part of a family is amazing! Every document, approval, signature, letter, fee, stamp, fingerprint, certification that has to happen for a child to be adopted truly is a miracle when it all comes together & is accomplished! 

What has been the most challenging thing you have faced regarding adoptions and also culturally? The most rewarding?

I used to work with another country & program in the adoption process, so its been a lot to learn a new process & paperwork.  It can be difficult to understand why certain steps take a long time or what is happening at each of the steps.  It’s frustrating when a step seems like it could be a quick thing and ends up taking longer when I know a child is waiting and a family is SO ready to have the child home. I wish I could do more! It can be difficult to be patient as we don’t see the whole picture of all the behind the scenes work going on for many children & families.  Often times the progress seems so slow, but I have seen God faithfully work out the seemingly endless details and the end result of a child going home which is by far the most rewarding!

I think culturally the challenge is remaining humble and recognizing that things may be done completely opposite of how we think they “should” be done. Yet, things get done in their own time and at a different pace than we may think.  I feel like I’ve gotten a glimpse into what an adopted child must feel when everything about their world changes and its pretty overwhelming. The language piece is huge and I think frustrating because it’s a slow process.  With other changes or differences you can see it, learn it, make adjustments and move on. Language just takes so long and it makes things so much more complicated to not be able to just quickly talk out the simplest things. 

There are many rewarding aspects of being in a new culture as well.  It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own little world so this has forced us out of our comfort zone on so many levels and its exciting, challenging & fun. We’ve learned to be more patient, understanding, interact differently, take life as it comes, be up for an adventure, be more spontaneous than we already were and see life through a completely different lense.

What’s your day to day like as far as culture, food, activities, etc…Just a glimpse into life in Haiti that might give us an idea of some of the things we might expect our children to eat, play, etc…

I feel like the key to learning a new culture is really observation and language. So as you think about helping your child adjust and learning what life is like for them, I’d say that learning as much Creole as possible is going to make a huge difference in your child’s adjustment and life.  Tim & I felt disoriented with all the Creole spoken around us. I can’t imagine what a child must feel like with only hearing English when they first come home.  The food is typically rice, beans & a meat sauce.  Sometimes plantains, beet salad, spicy cabbage salad, fried potatoes are also served.  It seems a lot of people I’ve met are not big on sweets & desserts. With the exception of juice & coffee which are served VERY sweet.  

The pace of life is very different in that a lot of time goes to each task of the day whether its walking to school, shopping for food, cooking everything from scratch, hauling water, washing laundry by hand all day, standing in long lines at the bank, waiting for hours at the doctor, etc…So there isn’t the “go, go, go” mentality that we so often have in the U.S.  Waiting is very much a part of life and seems to be much more accepted and better tolerated here than in the U.S.! Soccer is a big activity that many people enjoy watching & playing.  Artwork is popular and often sold at markets and along the roadways.  Attending a Sunday morning church service seems to be very much a part of the culture. Services start early and can go for many hours.  People dress up almost like they are going to a wedding. Women are in dresses, men are in suits and the children are in lacey, frilly dresses, bows and dress shirts & pants.  Its been fun to  how kids are kids no matter where you are. Boys will pretend to drive a car under a table, make a car out of a bottle and a string, a superhero cape out of a roll of paper, etc… The culture is very vibrant…bright colors, paintings, jewelry, music, passionate conversations, artistic ability, ingenuity.  

What are the best ways ordinary folks that can’t travel there help orphans?

Prayer is key. We know that God has answered so many prayers and sustained us in tangible ways through the prayers of those on this journey with us. 

I’ve realized more and more each day how little I can do apart from God’s strength and power working through me.

The needs are far more than I could ever meet. God’s power, love and grace are needed in each moment of the day as we complete adoption paperwork, spend time with children, interact with staff and interact with others.

The children who we interact with are such precious, individual, spunky, fun, sometimes wild and crazy kiddos that need prayer for physical health, emotional well-being, educational needs and spiritual protection in the difficulties they face and will face as a result of being an orphan.

Prayer for mountains to be moved related to approvals and paperwork for the children and families trying to adopt them.  There are many hurdles and potential delays that can make the process quite challenging.

Prayers for all of the children who will never have the opportunity to be adopted.  Pray for their future as one day they leave the orphanage with so much yet to learn about life.

Pray for the Church to be moved to care for children in need of loving families. This can happen in so many ways from mentoring, foster care, orphan care, sponsorship, supporting missionaries, etc…

Gathering donations such as formula, wipes, diapers, children’s vitamins, children & baby fever & cough/cold medicine. These are always a need! 

Another way to be involved is supporting short term teams, donation drives, long term missionaries who God has placed in a position to go.  That is the beauty I’ve seen in the Bod of Christ in action!

Be creative! There are ways that so many people can be involved from teens, college students, teachers, moms, those gifted in construction, physical therapy, caring for children who have special needs, art, sports…With teams that come to do these types of work, there are always supplies & support needed to make these trips happen. 

Whew!? That's it! Congrats if you made it to the end :)